Stars After Sunset

[5]

"Bitch, the fuck you sa-" Hoshiko started before Sasori slapped a hand over her mouth.

"Shut up. We aren't here to roast dem newbies." He sighed, lazily smirking at the team who decided it was a good idea to try and screw around with Hoshiko. They did, and shit would've gotten real had Sasori not been there to hold her back. Hoshiko dragged his hand off her face.

"Well, you still find it a good story to tell, and Hidan starts cackling like he just had a blunt and was high as fuck every time someone decides it's a good idea to try and fuck with me, so why not?" She shot, glancing over at him, clearly bored.

"Huh. Good point."

°°°

Ibiki scanned the room. The majority of the contestants were cheating, although most in subtle ways. He found it rather amusing to chuck kunai at those who made it rather obvious that they were cheating and seeing the 'wut da fuk' face appear on them.

Ibiki was a man who had lived through his life, encountering several things so unusual that he was certain practically nothing could phase him anymore. So imagine how odd it must have been when he looked over at seat number 4 and was mildly surprised and amused to see the occupant of the table asleep not 5 minutes after the exam had started. He walked over and tried to wake her up, even poking her with a senbon, but to no avail.

"Stab her. It's the only way she'll wake up. Trust me, I've known her for 7 years." The boy with red hair muttered, who was sitting behind her. Ibiki looked at him strangely. Stab her? He sighed. It was worth a shot. He stabbed the senbon needle he was holding into her arm.

"Who the fucking hell just stabbed m-oh, it was probably you, scarfaced fucker. Who gave the idea to you, Sasori?" She said, shooting a look behind her. He shrugged and smirked.

"Bitch." She said.

"Lasagna." He finished.

Ibiki watched their interaction staring at them like they were batshit insane. To be fair, they probably were.

Scarfaced fucker? Bitch Lasagna?

°°°

Anko stared at the blonde and the redhead who was currently playing Slapjack had been doing so the entire time she had been making her dramatic entrance and introduction.

"Is that normal?" She whispered to Ibiki. He sighed.

"Don't ask me, since I ain't got no damm clue whether or not those two are supposed to be in asylums."

They turned back to the pair of card-playing Genin. They had attracted a crowd of spectators as well.

"Ace."

"Two."

"Three."

"Four."

It was a Jack. Hoshiko slapped it first.

"That's thirty-one cards for you, bitch!" She crowed.

"Fuck."

°°°

"So... now we find a scroll," Sasori stated,  leisurely strolling through the woods like it was a walk in the park.

"Nope. I pickpocketed another team before the exams started. They never said we couldn't." Hoshiko happily said to Sasori. Sasori was silent for a bit, stalling to process the new bit of information in his mind.

"Wait, actually?"

"No shit, Sherlock. I sure as hell didn't tell you legit 25 seconds ago."

"Dude, chill."

°°°

"Can I scare the shit out of him?" Hoshiko asked. 

The duo was currently tailing Orochimaru, waiting for a moment to strike. He was currently taking a break in an open clearing. Dumbass.

Overconfident, egotistical, creepy snake bastard.

"Go ahead. Be my guest."

°°°

"The author wishes to apologize for this short as fuck chapter." Sasori read, an eyebrow raised. Hoshiko scoffed.

"Of course. This shit is barely past 600 words." She snarked.

"The author also claims to have 'writer's block'." Sasori continued, successfully ignoring Hoshiko.