Into The Dream Scape

Part2: For What is This Fever?

        Nate's POV

    I sit in the bed as before, I'm allowed to move around a bit more now, and the nurse that does my physical therapy with me comes in, two minutes late, per usual. Her name is Thelia, and she's a sort black woman, about 4'11" maybe. Her hair is shaved close to the head, and her skin glows even though she's about 62. I like her, she's good at conversation and distracting me from the tedious tasks of therapy. 

"Morning Thelia, how's the home?" I ask, putting on a fake smile.

"Well, John has to paint the hall again, said he don't like the colour, but we finally got the kitchen renovations finished." She responded, walking over.

"Ah, that's good, what colour did he paint it last time?" I question.

"Bright yella'." Her southern accent made me feel more at home here, I was thankful for that at least, I winced in slight pain as she started my stretches.

"Ah, I like yellow, but I don't think bright yellow in a dark hall works that well, maybe try a light grey, or a patterned wallpaper." I recommended.

"I'll be sure to tell him that. For someone so young, you sure do know a lot about home decore and design, sugar." She smiled once more.

"Well, I was studying it in college...." The thought of having to drop out if I don't heal soon crossed my mind and I became saddened by it. I was having my professors email me my assignments and I was using online tools on my laptop to complete them, so I was still passing and had my good GPA, but it wasn't the same....

    I enjoy the hands on, actually setting up a room, or making a piece of clothing with my hands. I miss it.... I miss it a lot. I miss feeling the different textiles, and learning to feel the different types of stuffing and foam used for different things, I miss the smell of saw dusk from making my own stools and furniture, I miss the feeling the weight of the fabric leave my hands as I draped it on a mannequin, I miss the feel of pencils in my hand as I heard them move across the paper for a design I wanted to make. I miss everything about my work....

"Sugar, you seem down suddenly, what's wrong?" Thelia asks, pulling me back to reality instead of my somber thoughts of school.

"N-nothing ma'am, just, thinking about school, and how much I miss everything about it." I said, looking back at her afterwards, seeing her eyes filled with sympathy, and pity. 

    I get enraged that she pities me. I hate that. I hate it when people give me that look. I'm not useless. I'll walk again, hell, I'll run again. I'll get back to my family, I'll return to my school, go back to work, back to everything I love! 

    I force to take a deep breath and calm down. We sit in silence for the rest of my therapy session and Thelia says she'll see me tomorrow. I nod and say my thanks. I turn my head back to the window, starting to count again, blue cars with hatchbacks.

1....

2....

....

.....

......

    I feel myself enraged, I feel the fire in my chest, I feel the screams rising in my mind, I hear the beating of my heart as if I'm holding it in my hands. I can't stand this anymore! I rip myself from the equipment and it flat-lines, setting off the alarm for nurses to come to the room, I tears the IV from my arm, seeing it bleed ever so slightly, I rip the blankets from my bed and throw my body to the side, standing on my one good leg, using anything I can find as a support. I feel the look in my eyes burn through everything I see. I open the door with one hand just as the nurses come rushing down my hall, they see me and try to force me back into the room, but I push past them, sing the wall to support my weight, I can move my leg slightly, but putting to much weight on it could damage it further. I see Thelia coming my way, looking like an enraged grandmother of sorts, she grabs my arm and stares me in the face,

    "Nate Griffin!" She is talking sternly, but my gaze simply roars against hers, "You need to get back to your room, and lie back down, this instance!"

    I can't take it, I snap at her,

"Thelia! I can't fucking take this! I hate it in that damn room! I'm tired of counting windows and cars! I'm tured of watching the world go by, when my life is stuck on pause! I want to move! I want to get out of the damn room! I'M FUCKING SICK OF BEING TREATED LIKE I'M USELESS! I'M TIRED OF BEING LOOKED AT LIKE I'M PITIED! I'm tired, of the same things, everyday. I'm going down to the cafe, and getting myself a drink, and a pastry. You won't get me back into that bed yet, so either you let go, and let me do this on my own, or find me a pair of crutches to use." I couldn't hold it back.

"...." I see the shocked look on her face, how could such a kind young patient who she's treated as her own family, feel this way and she not even realize it? "Alright, you sit in this chair, right her. I'm gonna go get you a pair of crutches, ok?" She says and I nod in response, she helps me sit down gently in the chair before walking away. 

    I can see the other nurses and doctors staring, patients who are allowed to move about are peeking out of their rooms. I feel my anxiety rising.... I don't like being stared at. I see her come back around the corner and she tells everyone to return to usual business, and slowly but surely, they do. She unpacks the crutches, and adjusts them for height. I use them and stand up.

"Thank you, Thelia.... I, I didn't mean to snap at you, I'm just so...." I sighed, I can't think of an explanation.

"It's alright dear, I know what you mean." she smiles, reaching up and patting my back. I look down and see her smile, I smile in return, and she keeps me company to the cafe downstairs. She's so understanding, I wish my real grandparents were like her. She's practically adopted me into her family, they come and visit me too. Her grand kids visit every other weekend from Alabama, and they visit me when they're her. I enjoy their company, we play card and board games together. There are two of them, Leeah and Rhett. They're siblings and look nearly identical despite being two years apart in age. 

    We make it down to the cafe, and I forget that I don't have my wallet on me, but Thelia, before I could even check if I grabbed it, has paid for the food and tea I got. We sit down at one of the tables, and start talking about things. I mention how I miss my sketchbook, and she comments on how she used to drawing people, the conversation blossomed from there, and then another nurse came over....

    He's tall and skinny, but muscular. He has a long blond hair ties back in a bun, his skin it tan and he has deep green eyes, his voice is kind of deep, surprising me.

"Hello, I was told that the nurse taking care of Nate's needs, other than his therapy, has been moved to a different patient. They just transferred me to this hospital, and I've been given Nate as my patient! My name is Venus, by the way." He smiles warmly, and though he seems to mean well, I get an odd feeling about this bloke, he's, almost to confident in his story....