daddy issues | e.dolan

+ twenty.

!!READ AUTHORS NOTE AT END PLEASE!! Now enjoy reading :)

"Aurelia, honey, I'm so sorry," The nurse sits on my bed and holds my hand. "It's your mom. She passed away."

I scream.

I scream as loud as I could. I don't know if I'm screaming out of horror, anger, or just simply to remind myself that this is real life and I am alive while my mother is NOT. I immediately feel a guilt I've never felt before.

"There's no way she's fucking dead!" I throw myself and the nurse warns me to stay still or I'll mess up my IV. Everyone is just silently sobbing. I don't think anyone was really a fan of my mom, but she's gone now. We still loved her. She was still a huge part of our lives.

She was my mommy. The woman who raised me on her own. The woman who tried her best to make it to any sport event or school show I had, despite her working two jobs. The woman who loved me unconditionally and showed it before everything went to shit.

I can't ever get that back.

I feel so numb.

"Aurelia," Ethan sits by me. "I'm so, so sorry. I know that's not what you want to hear right now but I really am. You don't deserve any of this." Ethan kisses my forehead and walks away.

"Yeah," Grayson now sits by me. "what Ethan said. Things have been rocky between all of us lately but we still all love you so. damn. much." Grayson hugs me and I just melt into his arms and sob.

I can't believe my mother is gone.

I caused her death and no one can tell me otherwise. If it wasn't for me being a bitch and arguing back, she could have payed attention to the road.

"Hey E, Kayla? Can Aurelia and I have a minute?" Grayson asks them and they leave the room. I look at him with a puzzled look on my face.

"I just feel like we need to talk," Grayson grabs my hand. "I don't know."

"Yeah we probably do. Shit has been so crazy lately." I pick at my fingernails, so I don't have to look at Grayson right now. The awkward silence consumes me and makes the hospital room colder than it already was.

"Unless you wanna wait?" Grayson asks me. "I totally understand if you don't wanna talk right now."

"No," I finally look up at him and try to smile. "we can talk right now. The sooner the better."

"Okay. So what's going on with us? What's going on with Ethan?"

Ah, the two questions I dreaded the most were being asked all at once. I deserve it though.

"Honestly, I don't know—that goes for both questions. I love both of you boys so much for different reasons and I hate to admit it, but I'm torn. I feel so disgusting!" I begin to cry and shake and Grayson lays next to me on the tiny hospital bed and just holds me.

"Aurelia it'll all be okay. We both love you." He whispers.

"No! It won't be okay at all!" I cry. "Gray, I need to confess something."

"Yeah?"

"About two weeks ago, I left school early and noticed a car was following me. When I pulled into my driveway, they did too. Come to find out it was Ethan. He got out of his car and asked if we could talk so I said we could and then I let him in my car to talk. Then he tried to pull shit on me and it worked. We had sex again. I'm so so sorry." I sob.

Grayson just looks at me. His eyes are empty. I can tell he's heartbroken and that makes my heart break all over again. I just want to sleep it all away. My moms death, the situation with Grayson and Ethan. All of it.

I don't want to be here.

Grayson doesn't say anything. He just hugs me, which catches me off guard. I expected him to be angry, but with the condition I'm in right now, he's probably trying to be gentle and understanding with me.

And I appreciate him for that.

Grayson actually cares. Not once have Grayson and I done anything intimate, he hasn't tried or anything. I'm sexually attracted to Ethan, but I'm romantically attracted to Grayson. I don't know what to do.

"Aurelia," Grayson lifts up my chin with his pointer finger and looks into my eyes. "Am I upset? Yes. But we aren't dating or anything so there isn't really anything I can do about it. It's your choice. Just know I love you unconditionally. I know we met not too long ago, but I already care for you so much and I'm so appreciative of you. I'd like to be more than friends, but that's up to you."

"Oh Grayson," I start to cry again. "You don't deserve me! I'm such a shitty person!"

"No," he cuts me off. "You're not a shitty person. You're Aurelia. You're going through a lot right now and you don't know what you want. That's okay. Just know I'll be here when you decide."

I just look at him and admire him. He's so perfect, his lips, his eyes, nose, jaw. His everything. He leans in to kiss me and I immediately kiss back, feeling at home. I can tell how much he cares for me, and I do love him too.

The quick kiss is over and I look up at him and smile. I actually smile. A real, genuine, effortless smile.

"I have never seen you smile like that." Grayson plays with me hair.

"That's because I haven't." I lay my head on his chest and before I know it, I'm asleep.

+++

Hi guys! PLEASE DONT GET MAD AT ME SKSKSK. I'm sorry for not writing in like 3 months & I'm sorry for making Aurelia so indecisive whoops. I know you're probably all saying to yourself:

"Can't Aurelia make up here damn mind already?"
"Poor Grayson. She's leading him on!"
"Poor Ethan. She's leading him on!"
"Does she not care her mother just died?"
"Why is Grayson still tolerating her after everything?"
I KNOW GUYS. TRUST ME HERE. YALL JUST WAIT. Also thank you so much for 200+ followers. I swear I only had around 60 a few weeks ago 🥺❤️