Grey - joshler

Chapter one

Some one who is sad, lonely or depressed starts turning grey. Their skin, eyes, world, everything.

Tyler watches as he too goes grey, thinking all hope is lost for him.

-

I've never been an extremely extroverted kid, always kept to myself, was kind to everyone and always slightly shy in certain situations. Never in a million years would I have called myself depressed, never.

Growing up I observed a lot of people pass by, happy, sad and everything in-between. what stood out most to me and others, was them. They were nicknamed rain clouds, and were covered from head to toe in grey, enveloping their whole body in a shroud of darkness. They simply floated around, the sullen looks on their faces, defeated posture and looked as though they were constantly being chased by storm clouds.

As I watched the world go by I noticed that most people has some sort of grey patch that would appear every now and then, and vanish as soon as it came when their mood was lifted. I quickly learnt that it stemmed from sadness, and being a rain cloud was considered a curse.

With all the good things I had in my life, I thought I'd never have to worry about that, I was content, had a happy family for now and life was just great. I convinced myself I would stay happy. That is, until I started seeing grey patches litter my own arms and legs.

At first, I hid it thinking it would go, like it had done when others become full of colour whenever they were happy again. But soon I came to the realisation that maybe, it wasn't temporary, and maybe it isn't as simple as it looks. I became insecure and anxious that someone would see.

-

It was another one of those sleepless nights, the types where I lay awake for hours on my back staring at my hand above me, anticipating the slight colour change as my hand became a darker shade of grey. It was a gradual process, one that soon everybody had caught on to, but nobody seemed to care. Even my mother wasn't concerned that I was become depressed and didn't recognise the symptoms I was showing. Instead, she said it was natural and would eventually go away. 

Oh, I wish I could believe her, I wish she was right. But deep down I knew it was for the long haul and that I may be stuck like this for a while. Something about the way it felt right, almost second nature and I no longer could seem to imagine myself happy like the others I was constantly surrounded by.

Instead I spent my days watching, silently waiting, as the world passed by, and yet not a single familiar faced turned my way to give a helping hand and I was left to suffer on my own.

This night in particular seemed to be more sleepless than usual. Tearing my eyes away from the disgraceful sight in front of me, I looked at the clock.

3:24 am

My eyes wandered and I found myself staring at the mess my room had become, a mixture of band t-shirts and hoodies, books and other miscellaneous objects I had thrown in my room and never had the motivation to pick them up. Scattered on the walls was an array of posters from my favourite bands, movies and magazines, that seemed to fill in every space lepton my walls, it was the only complete thing in my life it feels.

Rolling out of the safe comfort of my bed with a sigh, my feet came in contact with the cold, hardwood floor that soon replaced any warmth left in my body with a harsh bitterness. My feet, as though uncontrolled, padded over to my mirror where a skinny and pale boy stared back at me, unlike myself. I almost didn't want to come to terms with the boy I was looking at, was me, with his grey skin, hair and eyes. Bland and boring and grey. A rain cloud.