•DEAD OR ALIVE•

THREE

•KNOCKING ON DEATHS DOOR•
"maybe, you could find someone worth living for"

Weakness was all I saw when I looked at Marcus. I've been watching him from the shadows for the past twenty minutes, deciding on how to approach him.
Any other recruit, I would have dragged them by the ear back to Kings but Marcus was vulnerable and weak. The only way to approach that is to be in mirror image. I have to be weak myself. I sigh quietly, I've suppressed those feelings for so long that it physically hurts trying to revisit them.
Weakness will only get you killed, especially at The Kings Dominion. They would use that very thing against you until there is nothing left.
I just tell myself that weakness is just the false hope that life is going to get better one day. You lie to yourself and pretend you're okay but then reality sets in. Everything is born to die, and you hardly get a say in how you live your life cause that's all decided from whoever's above. Our life is just a loose thread, it can be long or short but in the end, it's just waiting to be cut. 

From what I could see, Marcus was a person who was fragile and needed to be surrounded by people who loved him. I'm guessing he's scared to be alone.
The way he carried himself was all different then he had before. The smart ass, witty and somewhat fearless person I saw in the meat-locker was replaced with someone that is so close to knocking on death's door. Someone who looks as if they have lost everything and has nothing left. His whole body looks weak and dishevelled as he shifted from foot to foot, looking down on San Francisco.
Deciding it was time I spoke up, leaning against the pillar."The longer you contemplate it the harder it is, so what are you waiting for?"
"Jesus Christ!" He jumped back making me roll my eyes at the startled figure. He glared at me through the darkness, the light from below shining on his face. His eyes were glassy and held so much pain. "What the hell?" He shouted, glaring at me.
"Sorry, is this kind of a private moment? Are you having a battle with your inner thoughts as we speak?"
I sigh, I'm really shit at being sentimental and understanding even when I'm trying to sound like I care, it just comes off as if I'm being sarcastic. I make my way around the edge slowly, trying not to trigger something inside Marcus that could make him plummet to his death in the next second.
"Lin says I got to bring you back," I say, my voice as soft as I could possibly get it. I study his side profile as he continues to look out into the night. He's desperate and right now I don't know if Kings will making it better. Fuck, why did I even offer to come instead of Saya?
"Yeah, well, Lin's going to be disappointed" he scowled, barely looking at me as I stood behind him. My body shifted, thinking of ways to take him off the ledge. Drag him down by the collar? Knock him out? Both of those could end up with him over the ledge with his head caved in from the impact. Talking him down was the best way to handle it but that didn't always work.
"Master Lin can protect you from the cops, and once he's done with you, you'll be able to protect yourself from anyone," I said, trying to find something that he could continue living for. "Not to be a dick, but what do you have to lose?" I question, my eyes shining through the pieces of hair that came down from the ponytail.
"Nothing" he stepped his left foot slightly over the edge, causing me to panic and grab his arm. "Wait!" My heart was beating in my ears as he ripped his arm from my grip, holding it to his chest. His back was hunched, as he tried to hold back tears as I stood across from him.
"Just hear me out. I know all that terrible shit inside your head. I've been there, it's like you can barely breathe because the world keeps crashing down on you over and over again, until there's finally nothing but an empty shell and all you can fill it with is pain" My voice shakes taking a step closer to him.
"What do you know?" He sneers a single tear falling from his eye.
"I know what it feels like to have no one"
"No you don't" He shakes his head, wiping his nose onto his jacket.
"I do Marcus, most of my life I've felt alone" I sigh, taking one more step towards him. "I know you don't have anyone, I didn't either"
My face was inches from his as I pulled him down from the ledge, my hand placed on top of his bigger one. He was taller than me so I had to crane my neck to look at him. He was already looking down at me, tears were freely running down his face I moved one of my hands to his face wiping the tears away.
"You don't have to be alone" my eyes bore into his. I saw so much pain behind those eyes, he'd been hiding it for God knows how long in there. He hadn't been able to talk about it because he had no one. He clasped my hand against his face as he leaned down to the crook of my neck. I felt a tear hit the bare skin there. I froze, tensing, my hand still in his flushed against his cheek.

Fuck, what do I do now?

I'm not an empathetic person, I can't just act like this on command. It takes practice. I can't just stand here and do nothing. Okay, Kaiya you've got to do something. Hug him? Awkwardly pat his head like he's a dog? No definitely do not do that. Think Kai, think, what calms me down?
Throwing knives at targets, fighting and training with my friends. Yeah, that's not going to work.

Okay, what used to calm me down?

What would my mum do for me and my sister?

I felt my heart break at the thought of them. I remember how my mum used to rub light circles on the back of my neck, playing with the bits of hair at the bottom of my head. I remember how she used to sing to me and my baby sister Alice when we were scared or just sad. I remember everything about them and everything he did to them.
I clenched my jaw, slowing moving my free hand to the back of his neck. I kept the other against his warm cheek, moving my thumb against the skin there. I felt a few tears flowing down his cheeks, but he wasn't sobbing. He just needed someone and that someone was weirdly me.
He took this as an okay to move his body closer to me, wrapping his free arm around my waist pulling me flush against his chest. I played with the soft hair at the nape of his neck, trying to relax. I'm not used to acting this way, I'm not used to showing emotion towards someone. I press my head further into his neck, he didn't smell great but I didn't care at that moment. I didn't feel entirely comfortable right now but he didn't need to know that.

I sighed moving my head upwards towards his, my eyes closed, our cheeks now touching. He puffed out his cheeks, before moving so his face was inches from mine. He brought his hand away from mine, that was still placed on his cheek and put it on the other side of my waist, holding me in place.
His breath hit my cheeks as I felt him press his forehead to mine. My heart picked up at the action, this is wrong. I can't be like this with someone I don't know.
I opened my eyes to find him studying my face, taking in every detail. My breath caught in my throat as I watched him flick his eyes to my lips.
Fuck it.
I slowly leaned in brushing my lips against his, before he pulled me into him. His lips were soft but chapped as he moved them against mine gently. I pulled away after a second. The kiss was short and surprisingly nice. "Maybe you could find someone worth living for". I say, pushing a curl behind his ear before unravelling myself from around him, walking away from him to the door. I looked back to find him staring at me. "The decision is yours Marcus, you can come with me or you can stay. I'm not going to force you to do anything" I smile, opening the door before glancing back again. He was smirking with his hands shoved in his pockets as he continued to look at me. Normally I wouldn't feel intimidated under someone's gaze but my heart is going off the rails the longer he looks at me. "Meet me down there, and I mean in one piece"

"What the fuck just happened?" I whispered as I let the door slam shut behind me. I shook my head gathering my thoughts climbing down the steps and out the door to Saya's bike. I did it for the assignment, Saya's assignment.

It only took two minutes for Marcus to decide as he walked his way out of the building and towards me. A small smile was on his features.
"Got room for another" he smirked making me roll my eyes and answer him sarcastically. "For you, always" I turned my head away while twisting the keys to start the engine. He climbed on the back, wrapping his arms around me, first making me tense but then I relaxed.
"It's not going to be easy there Marcus, but I can tell you it's a hell of if a lot better then the streets" I turned my head to look at him, the motorbike still not moving.
"I think I'll be fine" he smirked again, tightening his arms around me. I hope you'll be fine cause you won't have me but he'll figure that out so enough.