Ten Random Characters

The Red-less Wedding

Ten Random Characters

Chapter 5

Robin glanced over Peach's shoulder at the list, and suddenly burst into raucous laughter. "Okay, you've gotta let me read this one!" she pleaded. Peach nodded with a suspicious grin. "Okay, everyone is invited to Roy and Ike's wedding exc-"

She was cut off by a roar of laughter from Red and Palutena, as well as groans from Marth, Ike, and Roy. "Please tell me it doesn't actually say that," Roy implored.

"No cigar, kid," Robin answered with a smirk. "So, everyone except Red is invited to your wedding. How would Red react?"

"I'd just be happy I wouldn't have to be there to see Marth commit Peachicide," Red replied with a chuckle. "I mean, if his best friend ran off with his Waifu..."

"I am not Marth's Waifu!" Ike interrupted in indignation. "Whatever that is."

Palutena eagerly jumped to answer his question. "'Waifu' is basically Otaku-nese for love interest. For instance, who did your Avatar marry in Fire Emblem Awakening?"

"Chrom," Ike answered. The many odd looks and giggles from around the room made him sigh. "You all took that the wrong way, didn't you?"

"Chrom's your Waifu?" Robin roared in laughter. "I have so many questions, I can't even-"

"Look, it was totally an accident," Ike hastily explained. "I didn't know it auto-married Chrom, and I had a B-support with him. I was going to marry Gaius, but it didn't work out."

Robin, still snickering, asked "Why Gaius? Chrom or Lucina seem more like your type."

Ike rolled his eyes. "Very funny. Actually, interesting story behind that, I figured since the Avatar was basically a Mary Sue-"

"Hey!" protested Robin.

"-then it would be funny to make it Micaiah," Ike continued, ignoring Robin.

"I thought we weren't to speak of her?" Lucas remarked with a glance at his phone.

Ike shrugged. "I was joking. I don't completely hate her, she's just irritating and hates me for some reason. And I wanted her to marry Gaius 'cause he kind of reminded me of her friend Sothe."

"So, then Chrom is Micaiah's Waifu, right?" Red asked.

"Not finished," Ike continued. "So, Micaiah thought that was hilarious and made her Avatar me and married him to Tharja because she 'reminded her of Soren'. I really don't get it, but..."

"Yes, she's like Soren," Marth corrected. "Your crazy best friend wanted to have a duel to the death with me for your heart, remember?"

Naturally, Palutena squealed "Yes! I was right! You two are together!"

Marth turned beet red, and the author realized she was probably close to running out of creative ways to say people were blushing. "No, we are not. Soren had just taken a hex to the face, and his brain was a bit scattered," Ike clarified. "Besides, he never said it had anything to do with love."

"And please be careful around the fourth wall," Roy added. "We're not sure how stable it is, and if it breaks again..."

A collective shutter ran through the room, save for Robin and Palutena, who were afraid to ask what they were talking about.

"So," Peach chirped in a strained voice. "Moving on! Why is Six afraid of Seven? Er, I mean Robin afraid of Ike?"

"Because I dumped Priam?" Robin suggested.

Ike shrugged. "My descendant and potential servant's exes are not my business."

"And what anime would be Red's favorite," Peach read.

"Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!" Called a voice from high above. Pit dropped back into the room unceremoniously and dusted himself off, sitting back down.

"Oh, good to see Viridi didn't murder you," Palutena greeted.

No sooner had she said that then the plant goddess materialized in the room. "I thought he'd suffer more from you miserable humans," she cackled.

"And goddess!" Palutena added brightly.

"And Beorc," Ike stated.

"And Hylian!" Toon continued.

"And part-Manakete," Roy commented.

"I get your point," Viridi barked. "Anyways, this game of yours sounds entertaining. I'd like to watch it."

Lucas pointed towards the hall leading to the Smasher's rooms. "Ness set up a camera in here and a bunch of people are watching it in his room. It's the one with a symbol that looks like a full moon on the door, fourth on the right."

Viridi quickly started down the hall. "So, you were saying?" Peach prompted Pit.

"Right. Red's favorite anime is..."

"Please don't," Red complained. "Can't you just let me say it's something cool?"

Pit promptly burst into a very familiar song at the top of his lungs. "I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS! "

"And now you've ruined both my dignity and our eardrums," Red groaned.

Everyone covered their ears to weather out the dreadful storm that was Pit's singing.

AN- Well, that happened. Also, I know half the jokes in this fic are Fire-Emblem centric, but I hope no one feels too lost. For those who do know what I'm talking about, I may just do a chapter where everyone says who their Avatar married in Awakening at some point.

So, thanks for reading! -Twilight Joltik