Saudade | D. SALVATORE

1 | in which everything goes wonderfully wrong

"Look Mom, I'm sorry for skipping game night for some stupid party. Just please, talk to me," Elena begged from the back seat of the car as they drove onto Wickery Bridge.

She regretted going to the party especially considering she had gotten into a fight with her boyfriend, Matt Donovan, about the future. He had it all planned out, she wasn't so sure.

It wasn't anything he had done. Quite frankly, it just wasn't meant to be.

Elena and Matt were those friends that owed it to themselves to see if it would work and for Elena it just didn't.

Slouching back into the chair, the girl let out an exasperated sigh realizing it was no use. She would try again tomorrow.

The car suddenly slid, as though it were on ice, off the bridge, straight into the water that had previously laid still except for the few drops of rain that fell as the aftermath of the storm.

After many failed attempts at getting them out of the car, the parents looked back at their daughter, taking in the sight of the beautiful woman she had become, knowing this was most likely the last time they would be seeing her.

The girl, although afraid of death and what would come after it, smiled a sad, but comforting smiles at her parents, and mouthed, "I love you."

They both smiled as well and mouthed it back as her vision began to go dark, she passed out.

[4 months later]

Dear diary, today will be different. It has to be. I will smile, and it will be believable. My smile will say "I'm fine, thank you." "Yes, I feel much better." I will no longer be the sad little girl who lost her parents. I will start fresh, be someone new. It's the only way I'll make it through. The Junior wrote in the journal her mother had bought her oh so many years ago.

Closing the journal, she placed it on her nightstand next to her bed. She headed downstairs into the kitchen, to see her Aunt Jenna scrambling around the room.

Upon seeing her niece, she offered up a breakfast option, "Toast. I can make toast."

"It's all about the coffee, Aunt Jenna," she said walking over to the coffee machine and pouring herself a cup.

"Is there coffee?" Jeremy, Elena's younger brother asked as he walked down the stairs.

"Your first day of school and I'm totally unprepared. Lunch money?" Jenna asked the two, holding up some money.

"I'm good," Elena spoke. Jeremy on the other hand, took the money from his Aunt.

"Anything else?" she asked, "A number two pencil? What am I missing?"

"Don't you have a big presentation today?" the teen asked remembering something she had mentioned to her the other day.

"I'm meeting with my thesis advisor at..." Jenna began, looking down at her watch, "now. Crap!"

"Then go. We'll be fine," she said reassuring her Aunt, who nodded with a smile before walking out.

"You okay?" Elena asked her brother.

"Don't start," he said before walking out the door.

Elena let out a sigh as she followed him out ready to start the first day of Junior year, or at least as ready as she could be.

The day had gone almost as bad as she had expected, if not worse. She headed to the cemetery, where she had tended to spend her afternoons ever since that night almost 4 months ago.

Opening her journal, she began to write: Dear diary, I made it through the day. I must have said, "I'm fine, thanks," at least thirty-seven times. And I didn't mean it once. But no one noticed. When someone asks, "How are you?" They really don't want an answer.