Saudade | D. SALVATORE

14 | it all fell down

{trigger warning: abuse, suicidal thoughts and actions, brief talk of depression; if talk of these tend to trigger you, please skip this chapter}

"Hey," Stefan spoke from her bay window.

"What are you doing here?" she asked bitterly.

"I'm here to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine," she rolled her eyes. "Stop asking."

"Look, awhile ago Elena told me about your situation and she asked me to look after you," he explained and Evelyn's eyebrow raised at this. "Just in case I could catch something she couldn't. And after what happened in the cafeteria and with what you said, I wan-"

"Wait," she began cutting him off, "She told you that?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "But she was only doing what she thought was best."

"Key words, what she thought," she pointed out. "That wasn't for her to tell."

"She only wants to help."

"That doesn't mean she gets to go around telling everyone my business."

"Don't be mad at her."

"You should leave."

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong, and don't try lying to me."

"What do you want from me?"

"I'm just trying to help you."

"I don't need help!" she exclaimed, the anger getting the best of her. "I just want the pain to go away. And there is nothing you can do to help me."

"I hate watching you do this to yourself."

"Do what?"

"Beat yourself up over something you didn't do and can't change."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"I know stuff happened in your past. I don't know what but I do know that your heart was broken and you lost your friendship with Caroline."

"Please, just, leave me alone..." Evelyn tried one more time.

"I'm not leaving, not this time," he replied. "You need to talk to someone. It won't make the pain disappear but it will help."

Evelyn shook her head in protest as she sat on the floor at the food of her bed. She rested her head on her knees and wrapped her arms around her legs.

"Whatever it is," he began, joining her on the floor. "There's nothing to be ashamed of."

"Of course there is!" she countered. "I was the girl who was too blinded by love to leave her abusive boyfriend. What's not to be ashamed of?"

He seemed to falter at this, clearly surprised to hear that that was her secret, "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I was a freshman, I didn't know what I was getting myself into," she started. "At first, Scott was great. The sweetest guy you could ever meet. My parents loved him, he would play video games with Jeremy so that he wasn't alone. Elena even thought he was good for me. And me?"

She adjusted her position so that she was more comfortable, "I was just happy that someone cared for me. He was good at first, I swear. But slowly, he pulled me away from my friends and family. He made me think that I was talking to them too much and not talking to him enough. And I agreed. I was in love, or I thought I was. He made me believe that he loved me."

"Winter break of freshman year, my parents wanted to go to our cabin for a weekend. He told me to find a way out of it and when I told him no, he got so angry. It was the first time he hit me. It wasn't a regular occurring thing, it was only when he was really mad at me," she laughed a little as she recalled the events. "He even made me think it was my fault it happened. He would say that I shouldn't have done what I did and I should have listened to him."