face the strange // f.w.

💘 chapter three 💘

If there weren't ink stains on my arm from Finn writing on it, I would've assumed Saturday was just a fever dream. Since it wasn't, the minute Zaynab dropped me off back at home (Mom was still out with her coworkers, thank God), I followed Finn on his finsta, and was kind of surprised to see what was there: it was kind of like a normal Instagram. There were stupid pictures with him and his friends (both famous and non-famous), obscure memes, and more. Comparing it to his official, which was just work related stuff most of the time, kind of gave me whiplash. Especially seeing that my username was on his finsta's following list.

Come Sunday, and though he was following me, I didn't get any messages from him. Understandable, since he probably was at home already and didn't want to talk to some random kid he met on a shoot right away. Part of me didn't know if I should've messaged him first, but then again, I didn't have much experience with people in the first place. My contacts list was mostly family (though I usually just called Zaynab), and occasionally people from school when we have group projects. Yeah, small, I know, but things always get complicated when people are involved.

When I got back to school on Monday, I resumed my isolated routine: going to class, keeping my head down, sitting alone at lunch, listening to music on the bus ride home, etc. Lonely? Not really, especially if you're used to it. Plus, the attention online filled that void. If anything, the only thing different that happened that day was when I got home. First, it was seeing my mother sitting on the living room couch.

Her hair was gathered back in a high bun, loose curls framing her face. I could tell she had gotten home from work, because she was still dressed in her work clothes, with a blue headscarf beside her, and on the phone with someone.

"Habibi," she said to me, smiling warmly, but went back to her phone. I sat beside her, attempting to see who she was texting.

"Who're you talking to?" I asked. Her eyes lit up, and she turned to me.

"Ahmed's coming home for Christmas break," she said. 

I forced a smile in response. "Wow."

"I know!" she grinned. "I'm making arrangements to see if your father can come home around that time as well."

I probably should've been more excited, but I'd rather step on a Lego than eat dinner with my mostly-absent father and my overachieving brother. I didn't want my mother to know that, though.

"Cool," I said, getting up from the couch. "Tell them I said hi."

Mom went back to her phone, leaving me to head upstairs to my room. After closing the door, and placing my bag on the floor, I did what any well-adjusted teenager did: I threw myself on the bed and screamed in my pillows.

I remember lying on my bed for a while after that, my mind always going back to dreading Thanksgiving break, until I heard my phone buzz. It was kind of a surprise, since I disabled getting notifications from Instagram, Youtube, or Twitter, and it's not like anyone would be texting or DMing me. I didn't get sponorships often, and there weren't any Youtubers in New Jersey to collab with. However, looking at who messaged me knocked the fucking wind out of me.

nesquickbboy: hey man!! you got a minute???

Keeping my cool, I unlocked my phone and stared at the message for a minute, not knowing how to respond. Part of me thought that Finn would've forgotten about me, amidst the rest of the stuff in his life. So the fact that he messaged me kind of won me over.

Your Message History with: nesquickbboy     

heyitsali: time is a construct, but sure. whats up?