face the strange // f.w.

💘 chapter four 💘

As life progressed, so did my friendship with Finn. Despite his busy schedule, with interviews and modeling gigs and more, we were still able to talk twice a week. It almost flattered me: although he had free time, Finn chose to spend some of that talking to me. It was like some shitty fanfiction come to life or something.

Most of the time, we talked in short bursts through DMs or texts, but sometimes when we were both free, we Facetimed. That's what was happening now: it was a Sunday afternoon, in the middle of the October. I was sitting at my desk, pretending to study for history, when I was really writing down random lyrics for a song I would probably never sing. Finn's face was on my phone, which was resting aside a stack of textbooks on my desk. We were catching up, as we weren't able to talk that much this week, until he decided to drop a fucking bombshell.

"So," he started absentmindedly. "I watched your coming out video last night."

I nearly choked on air, but kept a smile on my face. "Yeah?"

Honestly, I shouldn't have been surprised that he did. It was one of my most popular videos, sitting at around a million views. It was also my most emotional video, as my viewers were the only people that knew I was gay, along with Zaynab. Funny how it was easier to come out to a camera for the entire internet to view, than to tell my own parents.

Looking up at the phone, I saw that Finn looked down, fiddling with his thumbs.

"So... You're gay?"

"No shit, dude," I snorted. "What? Did the dancing during that shoot not give it away?"

Finn laughed at the memory, but soon quieted down. He looked up at me, but began to look away.

"I just wanted to say, uh," he began. "I think that's cool. That you're brave enough to share this part of you with your fans, I guess."

"Yeah," I said, shrugging. "I think I was just tired. Of hiding, that is. Plus, if I can't be myself in front of a camera, then what's the point of having a channel, you know?"

"Totally," Finn said, nodding. "I respect that. Like, no joke, dude."

Before I could thank him, I saw his eyes glaze over, like his mind was elsewhere. I forced a smile.

"Finn?" I said, startling him with the attention. "You okay?"

Nodding, Finn smiled. "Yeah. Of course. Can you tell me what you're writing?"

Though something was off, I couldn't put my finger on it. Instead, I went on, singing softly what I had written, with Finn humming along to the beat.

💘💘💘

The week after, on Friday after school, I saw that I was tagged in a post on Instagram. Clicking on the notification, I grinned: it was the set from that shoot, the one where I first met Finn. I scrolled past the ones with the other models to find a photoset of me dancing with Finn, the last photo ending with us posing together. The caption was just a link to the clothing line, as well as a thank you to me and Finn. Snorting, I decided to comment below.

heyitsali: somehow, @finnwolfhardofficial didn't get pissed at me 🙃🙃🙃

I watched as my comment started getting likes, and even liked a few of the funnier comments. After a few minutes of this, I took a screenshot or two of the posts on their site, from a photo with just me to one with me and Finn, and posted them on my Instagram. 

heyitsali: thank you to @ner-do-wells for letting me model for them for the first (and lets be real, last) time, and to @finnwolfhardofficial for making me look uglier compared to him ❤️

After posting that, I got another notification, this time, from the post I commented on. Going back to the post, I found myself grinning again to see who replied.

finnwolfhardofficial: oh no, i did. you can see the pain behind my eyes lol

         heyitsali: sorry lmao, while you were busy bEiNg A mOdEl, i was studying the blade

                 finnwolfhardofficial: sksksk try saying that when they invite me back over you

                        heyitsali: AT LEAST I HAVE MORE THAN ONE LOOK YOU ZOOLANDER BLUE STEEL           LOOKING MOTHERFUCKER

                               username1: are they flirting or fighting i can't tell

                                         heyitsali: thats how you can tell we're friends lmao

After posting that comment, I thought it would be harmless. All of a sudden, I got an influx of people commenting on my post, from fans congratulating me, to people calling me a clout-chaser. Mostly, I just saw people in the dark wondering who the hell I was, and why Finn was so friendly with me. 

Shutting off my notifications, I saw Finn had texted me. Going to my messages, I paled at what he said.

Finn: what the fuck did you just start

Ali: wait did you want us talking to be private or like

Ali: bc im sorry if i said something i shouldn't have

Finn: oh don't worry dude!! you're all good lol

Finn: but honey,,,, You've Got a Big Storm Coming

Ali: what? the stans? i can handle a few death threats lmao

Finn: lol whatever you say

Finn: still tho, if anyone says anything really fucked up, just let me know. im ready to fite (ง •̀_•́)ง

Ali: thanks fam ❤️❤️ we love a white knight lmao

When I went onto Instagram again, I was taken aback by the flood of comments, unable to scroll to the bottom. Closing the app again, I took a minute to the breath, wondering how to address how a famous actor and singer is friends with me, some no-name Youtuber.

Going back onto Instagram, I decided to head to my profile, and posted something on my story: a disembodied peace sign, with the caption, "Going live rn!!! Will explain  e v e r y t h i n g"

After posting it, I went to the corner of the screen to press an icon so I could go live, and rested against the headboard of my bed, my phone on my knees. As soon as I saw myself in the screen, I smiled as the names started pouring in, offhandedly saying hi to a few people, including the Man of Honor himself.

"Hey, Finn," I said, grinning when I saw Finn's username. "You're right. Everyone's going batshit, and I love it."

I laughed when he replied in the comments with, "you asked for it lol", and I pinned it. Once we had around a hundred people, I sighed.

Honestly, when you've got a bonafide celebrity and a shit load of fans and detractors alike, there's really no good way to begin. Luckily, it was my story to tell, and it was their job to sit back and hear it how it was. 

💘💘💘

hey guys!! slight filler but ALSO IMPORTANT bc now yall know ali's gay!!! wonder what finn was so distracted about tho,,,,

love, the author