face the strange // f.w.

💘 chapter seven 💘

As the world continued, my life went on the same. Sure, my follower count rose on most of the platforms I was on, but I never wanted that to change me. I didn't want to be one of those Youtubers that forgot who they were the minute they got some sort of fame, especially since that rise came from Finn. I knew this, because now my influx of new comments always mentioned him, asking why we were friends, calling me a clout whore, the usual. However, with each new subscriber, my anxiety increased at the thought of my mom, my brother, or (even worse) my dad finding out about the channel.

I'd be fine with it if it was just my covers, and stuff like that, but no. I had my coming out video, videos where I talked about being bullied at school, videos talking about my mental health, and more personal things. The fear got worse by the time winter break rolled around, because it was the time my brother would come home from college.

"Why are you so worried?" Finn asked on a call, when we were talking about our plans for winter break. "My brother's always busy with work shit, so it's cool whenever he comes home."

"That's because," I said started, adjusting my phone on my desk so I could see Finn on Facetime, "I don't know. It's weird, because I love him, obviously, but I feel like..."

"Like what?" Finn asked, and I bit my lip. I only ever talked about this with Zaynab, because she understood how it felt, but I decided to risk it with Finn.

"Like my parents love him more," I mumbled. "Or like he's what they want from a child. Like, he wears button-ups, I wear rainbow sweaters. He's a business major at some fancy college, and I'm focusing on music and clothes. He's probably gonna be the CEO at some big-ass company, and I still have no clue what I wanna do with my life."

I looked away, trying not to cry as I felt the lump in my throat grow bigger. I didn't want to see the pity in Finn's eyes, but I continued anyway.

"Ahmed's the favorite. Or maybe I'm just a disappointment. Sometimes I can't even tell the difference," I said, forcing a laugh. I thought about ending the call, until Finn spoke up.

"Ali," he said firmly, and I looked at him, wiping my eyes so he wouldn't see the tears. "You're an amazing musician, hilarious as hell in your videos, and you always make me laugh. If that still makes you a disappointment, then maybe your parents' standards are set too high."

I laughed, a real one this time, amidst my tears. "Not like they can even watch my videos, since they still don't know about my channel."

"You're cool outside your videos too," Finn said, as he started to smile. "Even though I still wanna be in one of your vlogs."

"Oh, yeah! Let me just walk all the way to Canada. I'm sure I'd get home in time for dinner," I smirked, but Finn still smiled. 

"Actually," Finn began, "I have an interview scheduled in New York over break."

My interest was peaked. I started to hide my grin, but I couldn't keep from smiling.

"Are you serious?" I said, and Finn nodded.

"January 2nd to January 3rd," he confirmed, and I even giggling before he finished talking. "Maybe you could schedule a quick trip to New York? We could film at my hotel, if you want-"

Filming a video with my friend/crush-that-I-shouldn't-have? That would definitely make up for the New Years party with my family, where they'd be fawning over my brother and his stories from college. I tried to keep cool, but I jumped in my seat, buzzing with excitement as I interrupted him.

"Holy shit, yeah!" I grinned. "That'd be so cool, holy shit, I miss you-"

I stopped myself from speaking as Finn's eyes widened at what I said. Feeling my cheeks redden, I was on the verge of rambling, apologizing for making this awkward, until Finn began to slowly smile.

"I miss you too," he said softly, and those four words made me freeze. Guys can be affectionate towards each other without being gay, this didn't mean anything. However, I still couldn't help but giggle like an idiot.

"Um, I'm gonna call my cousin to see if she can drive me to New York on the second," I said, still grinning. "Talk later?"

"Yeah," Finn said, nodding, and I ended the call, trying not to scream. I soon called Zaynab, and fidgeted in my seat. Because she watched my channel, she was pretty much up to date on my friendship with Finn. She just didn't know about my crush, which I wanted to keep a secret, anyway.

Zaynab finally picked up, and I heard her say, "Ali! What's up, man?"

"Nothing much," I said. "Uh, Finn just called me to say that he'll be in New York on the 2nd and the 3rd of January, and that while he's there, we could collab on a video."

"And you want me to drive you there?"

"What the hell am I supposed to do? Walk?" I said. "Yeah, I need you to take me there."

"Hell yeah, man!" she said, and I could imagine her grinning over the phone. "Who am I to get in the way of young love?"

"Whoa, whoa, this isn't-" I said, already about to ramble until Zaynab cut me off with a laugh.

"Yeah, I know you're into him," she smiled. "It was easy to tell, given that you giggle and blush literally every time you talk about him."

"I'm that obvious?" I asked, before she laughed again. "I just hope he can't tell."

"Don't worry! I can only tell because we're family," she said. "And because we're family, of course I'll take you to New York. But you better thank me at your wedding."

"Shut up," I grumbled, before she laughed again.

"Okay, I gotta bounce. Can't wait to meet your future boyfriend!" she said, hanging up on me. I groaned, throwing my phone on my bed, and putting my head in my hands. As excited as I was for the 2nd, it was gonna be a long wait until then.

💘💘💘

phew! new chapter DONE!! also, still haven't finished watching the third season of stranger things, i'm still hung up on good omens lmao. but comment below your thoughts! my notifications are hella dry, so plsssssssssss tell me your thoughts on the story thus far!!!

love, the author