poetry from a depressed person

chapter ten: you'd feel so low

you've felt so low, so low to a point where you were numb to all that surrounded you.

so numb you would grab that damned razor and carve the deepest of wounds into your flesh just to feel what it was like to feel something once more.

you would wake up at the latest of hours with no motivation for the most basic things in life.

you would sleep at the latest hour wondering why the universe hasn't taken matters into its own hands and ended you right there, right now.

you would feel so low, you'd walk to your balcony. your bare feet making contact with the cold concrete. you'd admire the view of the city at night. looking down, god knows how many stories above ground level you are..

you'd feel so low, you'd lean your upper body's towards that admirable view, the feeling of blood rushing to your head and your heartbeat increasing in a matter of seconds.

you'd feel so low, you couldn't describe how you felt. you had not the slightest clue on how to conjure up the right words and phrases to describe your mental struggles.

you'd feel so low that every post on social media about loneliness and negativity you were able to relate to precisely.

you'd feel so low that you've tried just about everything to clear your mind from your demons. you would try to distract your mind constantly and to no avail, they still wouldn't leave you be. you'd go out with whatever acquaintances you had just to free yourself from your mind.

you'd feel so low, you'd stay isolated in your room for hours and hours on end. huddled underneath the blankets, a space you called your safe haven. isolated from all that this cruel world would toss at you, denying every scrap of friendship people would give you.

you'd feel so low..

you'd feel so low..

past events that shattered you either emotionally or mentally would run through your mind, pain being the only emotion you could feel.

you'd cling onto those events like a child holding onto their favourite teddy bear. clinging onto the only things that made you feel human.

you'd feel so low..

you'd feel so low..