Modern Family All Ending Quotes

Season 2

Episode 1:
"The Old Wagon"

Phil: The art of the sale is all about what you leave out.
"83 classic wagon" (whispers) Tough to find parts.
"They don't make 'em like this anymore" (whispers) For legal reasons.
"Enjoyed for many years by one happy family" (whispers) Of raccoons.
I'm kidding. Actually ... actually, it did make us happy for a long time. It's gonna be tough to say good-bye. It always is. Nobody loves change. But part of life is learning to let things go.
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Episode 2:
"The Kiss"

1) Phil: Here's a little trick that I've found pretty useful with Claire.
"The computer and the printer must talk, talk, talk... "
"Command-P makes the picture walk, walk, walk "
Luke: How come it's not working?
Phil: It should be. Okay. Uh, that should be printing, so...
Jay: Hey, Phil. I'm gonna get a beer, beer, beer before I hit you in the head, head, head. Okay.

2) Gloria: I made all that up. That's not a real custom in Colombia. We're not lunatics. But you mess with us and we mess with you. That's the custom.

3)Gloria: Look. In Colombia, we kiss for everything because a kiss can mean so many different things.
[Manny: There's no ghost in here, is there?
Jay: Not a chance. Sleep easy, kid.
(Kisses Manny on the head)]
Gloria: It can be the start of something new. It can be how we say, "This is the person that I love. "
[ Cam: So, who's a better kisser, me or your dad?
Mitch: Ew!]
Gloria: It can be romantic.
[ Jeremy: Just so you know, if my friends weren't there, I would have said yes. So if you still want to...
Alex: If it's okay, maybe we should hang out more first. This is only the second conversation we've had that wasn't by text.
Jeremy: Whoo!]
Gloria: It can also be worth waiting for.
[ Gloria: Jay, what is this?
Jay: Just another nice thing I did for you while you made a fool of me. Manny let me in on your little tricks. You feel bad now?
Gloria: No, I feel good.
( They kiss) ]
Gloria: That one is definitely my favorite.
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Episode 3:
"Earthquake"

Jay: There's nothing mystical about an earthquake. Pressure builds, and it's released. And you just hope there's not too much damage. But it makes you realize what matters. And for me, that's my family...
My family and golf.
(Laughs)
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Episode 4:
"Strangers On A Treadmill"

Claire: Sometimes I just think my job is to make sure you guys don't fall on your faces.
Phil: That's a hard job in the Dunphy house. We fall a lot.
Claire: I know.
Phil: Maybe your real job is to be the person who picks us back up. Nobody does that better than you.
Claire: Thank you.
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Episode 5:
"Unplugged"

1)[Jay: What did you do?
Gloria: You don't want to know. ]

Jay: Gloria's grandfather and uncles were butchers so she's always had a certain comfort level when it comes to killing. One time, we had this rat.

[Gloria: What? First you smash it. Then you cut the head off.
Jay: (whispers) It was like nothing to her.
Gloria: I go to church now. ]