Modern Family All Ending Quotes

Season 4

Episode 1:
"Bringing Up Baby"

Gloria: Okay, everybody, let's gather together. Manny's gonna read us a little something that he prepare in his poetry camp.
Manny: Thank you, mom. This is for my new baby brother or sister. "Welcome, little one. Open your eyes and take your place. This is where you're meant to be, Nestled in the bosom of your mother. "
Phil: Lucky baby.
Claire: What?
Phil: Love you, baby.
Manny: "This is where you're meant to be, in the arms of your father. His long, long journey has readied him for this day, though his skin may be loose, his hair but a wisp, and his eyes milky with age,"
Jay: All right, we're done here.
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Episode 2:
"Schooled"

1)Phil: "Phil's-osophy".
Claire: Hmm.
Phill: A hardbound collection of all the life lessons I've learned, such as
"Always look people in the eye, "even if they're blind. Just say, 'I'm looking you in the eye. '" or "If you get pulled over for speeding, tell the policeman your spouse has diarrhea. "
Phil's-osophy.

2)Claire: "Marry someone who looks sexy while disappointed. "
Phil: See?
Alex: "Older black ladies make the best iced tea. "
Jay: "Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration, and 2% attention to detail. "
Gloria: "You can tell a lot about a person from his biography. "
Luke: "Watch a sunrise at least once a day. "
Manny: "If you love something, set it free, unless it's a tiger. "
Mitch: "If you're ever in jam, a crayon scrunched up under your nose makes a good pretend mustache. "
Phil: "When life gives you lemonade, make lemons. Life will be all like, 'what?!' "
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Episode 3:
"Snip"

Jay: Sometimes you get to choose the door you go through, sometimes you don't get that choice. But you still gotta walk through. So you can either go kicking and screaming Or walk through with your head held high. And since I don't get to choose the door I'm about to go through, I just pray it's a healthy, happy kid.
And a boy.
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Episode 7:
"Arrested"

Gloria: Making a child is the easy part. The hard part is everything that comes after. Keeping them safe. Making sacrifices for them .And standing by them, even when they let you down.
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Episode 10:
"Diamond In The Rough"

Jay: Sometimes I don't understand people. They do crazy things for the dumbest reasons. They convince themselves it'll all work out. Despite all the evidence to the contrary. Which I guess isn't so bad. All I'm saying is, I hope to god you don't have your mother's singing voice. But, man, I hope you get her self-confidence. Try to get some sleep. I'll talk to you in the morning.
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Episode 11:
"New Year's Eve"

Haley: New Year's is so weird, the way it makes you think about time.
[(Cam and Mitch in the bar)
Cam and Mitch: Ten nine eight...]
I think that's why people put so much pressure on themselves to have fun. [(Phil and Claire in hot tub)
Phil and Claire: Seven six five...]
I mean, I guess I sorta get it.
[(Gloria and Jay : Four three two one!
Gloria: Quick, quick! Make your wishes! )]
Like right now I wish I could just slow down time, 'cause I am so not ready for him to grow up yet.
Alex: I know.I want him to stay our stupid little brother.
Alex: Hey, happy New Year.
Haley: You too.
Alex: Oh, my God, what is in this?
Haley: Oh. Sorry. That one's mine.
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Episode 18:
"The Wow Factor"

Jay: There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange, mixed affair we call life when a man takes this whole universe for a vast practical joke Though the wit thereof he but dimly discerns. And more than suspects that the joke is at nobody's expense but his own.
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Episode 21:
"Career Day:

Manny: "We all weave a web of lies".
"Some we tell to try to help the ones we love".
"Some we tell to try to fool ourselves".
"And some we tell because, "when you're out of bullets "and staring down the barrel of a kalashnikov, the only weapon you've got left is guile".
Jay: She's nuts. That's fantastic.

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Episode22:
"My Hero"

(Manny reading from his assignment)
Manny: What qualifies someone as a hero? Obviously, a hero has to be someone we respect. A person we look up to. A person who is generous of spirit. Who's willing to grow and learn.Maybe it's the person you love most in the world or the guy who makes the most out of life, no matter what anyone thinks.The hero in my family is my family, because of who we are together.
Manny: "C" minus.
"This was not the assignment. "
I'll tell you who is not my hero.
Mrs. Rita McNabb.
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Episode 24:
"Goodnight,Gracie"

Phil: Um, before we say good night, my daughter Alex would like to pay tribute. Thanks, sweetie.(whispers to Alex)
Alex:My grandmother and I had a very special bond.
Haley: Seriously? Again?
Alex:This may not make sense to everyone, but I'm pretty sure she would've loved it.
"This is a lighter".
"It belonged to my favorite actor, Paul Newman".
"One day, he came into the restaurant where I was waitressing and accidentally left it behind".
"For the first time in my life,I did something I wasn't supposed to and slipped it into my pocket".
"One of the customers saw and said, 'don't worry. Your secret's safe with me".
"That customer turned out to be the love of my life, "your grandfather".
"So, my Alex, who I love so dearly, "who is probably too much like me for her own good, "every once in a while, "don't be afraid to break the rules. You never know what can happen".
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The next chapter will contain all quotes from season 5.
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