Space and Time

ΔH˚-TΔS˚=0

My phone is ringing again and it takes all the self-control I have to not pick it up and hurl it at the nearest wall. I settle for punching in my PIN a little harder than usual and I put the ringer on silent.

"Aika, are you... not going to answer?" Lev asks, looking up from the papers he has scattered on his lap.

I lean back against his bed and sigh. "No."

"Why?"

"Because I want peace and quiet."

Lev is silent for a moment. I close my eyes and try to calm down. I hear Lev shuffle his papers around and scoot closer to me, so I pop an eye open and peek in his direction. He looks... concerned?

"Are you OK?" I ask. "You haven't smiled much today. Though, you are studying, so I guess that's normal?"

Lev furrows his brows. Shit. "I should be asking you if you're OK."

...What?

"Don't give me that look. You haven't talked about... what happened... and you're ignoring calls that are probably from your dad or-"

"They're from Evren," I retort. Lev doesn't immediately answer, and I can tell he's trying to tread lightly around me. I'm not here for that bullshit. "Look, you don't have to treat me like a helpless victim."

"You don't have to use that tone with someone trying to help you," he shoots back.

My eyes sting. I grab at my hair and let out a frustrated groan.

"Sorry," I hear Lev add softly.

"No, I'm sorry." I take a steadying breath. He doesn't deserve the angry outbursts. He's not at fault here. "Look, I have talked with dad. And with Takumi. Hadley's helped me report the whole thing to the NCC officials. They said they'll be taking it seriously and are investigating."

"But have you talked about... the rest of it?" Lev waves his hands around, trying to find the word. "The... the... emotions."

The emotions? "Like what?"

"Like... why you're angry and snappy at everyone."

"I'm not snappy," I snap. I immediately curl up in guilt. "Right. Sorry. Yeah."

"It's OK." Lev moves closer and rubs my shoulder. "Just... I understand that this whole thing was horrible. Like, really, it's valid to be angry and to want to beat people up. Just don't let it be me," he adds. I snort. It seems to give Lev confidence. "But, like... I don't mean this in a bad way, but you were kind of like that before all of this happened."

I blink. "What do you mean?"

"You were kind of... broody?" he replies awkwardly. "I didn't want to ask about it, 'cause I thought it was just the stress from the NCC and your injury, but then this happened..." He pauses, and I know it's because he's about to say something I won't like. "Did you know this was coming?"

I shove him off me and glare at him. "The hell do you mean by that?"

He looks regretful. Good. "The hell do you think I mean by that?"

"You think I fabricated this whole thing? That I'm making up being assaulted, and that I'm making it up that Evren apparently set her rabid fans loose on me?"

Lev stares at me, wide-eyed. "No, I meant that if you were being bullied-"

"I looked online," I say. "Her fan club's got a pretty shitty track record. She has to have known that. And she approached me randomly anyway!"