Space and Time

She Who Breaks The Tie

'Gnawing' really is a good word to describe this... whole... thing.

It seems like every jab I barely brush past is a jab aimed straight at my vitals. I can't tell whether this windedness is from this workout or from something entirely different. Something related to the conversation the Fast-Forwarder and I had the other day.

I parry Aika's next punch – not a bad punch at all, considering this is her injured side – and I grit my teeth, willing myself to focus. I shuffle closer to my opponent, who is sporting her usual simple ponytail, and I try a backhand strike.

Something just doesn't feel right.

Aika catches my hand. Aaaand there goes Santeri's stopwatch. Aika's grip on me immediately loosens. At least, her physical grip.

"That's time!" Nevaeh's voice rings clear. As usual, much louder than Santeri's. She gives Aika her usual pat on the shoulder as Aika steps away from the playfight. Aika doesn't say anything, so neither do I.

"Doing good, Evren. One more round and then we will practice with dummy."

I groan in response. Santeri just shakes his head, his grin not fading in the slightest.

"It is important."

"So is recovery," I say as I grab another swig of my water.

"Is The Commander of Space getting tired?" Santeri's voice is soft and quiet, but I never miss sarcasm.

"Ooh, is she?" Great. Now Nevaeh's joined in on the teasing. And she's not even my coach.

"Nonsense!" I wave my hand at the coaches and catch Aika's amused brow. "Aika never tires me out." I throw in a wink for good measure, but Aika's laughter is nervous. Crap. There's the gnawing. I'm doing the flirting thing again. Evren, we've gotta stop doing this.

"Right, stop stalling, ladies." Nevaeh claps her hands together again and Santeri resets his stopwatch. "Let's do this final round and then split before heading to the meeting."

The NCC meeting. Right.

"Go."

Something's still not right. And it's not just the gnawing.

My strikes seem to be hitting more often. My parries seem to be knocking Aika off balance. My opponent's feet aren't planted and I know wobbly when I see it. A takedown at this point should be easy. But it's too easy.

"OK, stop." Aika does. "Where's your fire?" I say.

Aika looks at me like I've grown a second head.

"I mean, what's with the wobble? Or, wait, is it your concussion?"

"...I'm fine?"

"Then what is with your suddenly weak form?" Geez, Nevaeh's harsh. It wasn't that bad. "It's shit." Well then!

"Excuse me?" Aika looks ready to punch her own instructor. She'd never actually do it. Probably.

"Evren's right. You were holding your own just a few minutes ago. What's up?" Nevaeh's crossed her arms. She means business. But Aika's eyes are narrowing and I think maybe this isn't the right approach at the moment...

"Uhm, I think she means, is something on your mind suddenly?" I try.

Aika's glare falters and she turns to me, shoulders raised a bit. Guiltily. Something is on her mind.

Wait. Is it me?

She sighs and I hear the beep of Santeri's stopwatch. "Yeah, just..." She looks directly at me – maybe past me? – as if searching for something. "The meeting. I'm worried about it."