Longing (Bucky Barnes Fan Fiction)

| twelve |

The Winter Soldier files sat on the edge of the bed Bucky and I were sharing. We were in a city near the border of Germany and Austria. After arguing with Steve for nearly an entire hour, I managed to talk him into letting Bucky and I have our own room. We needed time alone and without the prying eyes and ears of everyone else.

My eyes flickered to the door of the bathroom. Bucky was taking a shower. I looked back to the files. I picked up the one on the bottom of the stack and opened it up. I had been holding off on looking at that folder in particular. It was Bucky's. I wasn't sure that I was ready to read just exactly what had been done to him. I couldn't get very far into Riggs' file before closing it and needing a break.

My eyes glided over his name and what little background HYDRA had put into the folder. It mentioned our team and all of the members. There was a picture papercliped to the top corner of the file. I took the paperclip off and set it aside. The picture was picked up for further examination. It was of Bucky in his Army uniform. He appeared so much younger than the one I knew but I also knew physically, Bucky didn't age like normal people. It was a part of the enhancement.

The bathroom door opened and out walked Bucky with a towel loosely wrapped around his waist. Water droplets fell from his damp hair on to his broad shoulders. My eyes trailed from his broad shoulders to his toned stomach. The towel barely covered him from my prying eyes.

"What are you staring at, doll?" He teased quietly. His raspy voice making my heart flutter. I hummed softly, biting my bottom lip. "You regret not getting in with me now, huh?"

"Just a little." I dropped my gaze back down to the picture of Bucky all those years ago. A smile crossed my lips.

"What's got you smiling so much?"

"This handsome guy." I held up the picture so that he could see it. His features hardened a little as he shifted in his spot. "You look like such a baby."

"Where'd you find that?" He asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed next to me.

"In here." I showed him the file. While his eyes seemed glued to the papers in my hand, I studied his face. The color in his face seemed to drain with the sight of the Russian letters on the front of the folder. His brows softly drew together.

"How far have you gotten into it?" Bucky's voice was quiet and timid.

"I just opened it." I answered him. He fell silent. "I haven't had a chance to go through it. I'm too.... I don't know what's going to be in there and I'm afraid to find out."

"Can you.... Wids, can you promise me something?" His eyes never left the folder as he spoke. "Promise me you won't look anymore into that."

"Bucky, I want to know."

"But I don't.... There are things in there that I-I don't want you to see. Things I've done.... I don't want you to know. Not yet, at least."

I nodded my head and closed the folder. The picture of him from the 1940s was still in my hand.

"Can I keep this?" I asked him. The folder was put aside.

"Why would you want to?"

"Because I don't have any other pictures of you. And I couldn't imagine you looking so.... small and different." I couldn't control the smile on my lips. He nodded his head softly. I picked up the folders and tucked them into one of my bags. "You're going to get the bed wet, Bucky." I patted his knee. He was still in just his towel. "Go get some clothes on."

"Why? I'm just gonna take them off here in a second anyways." He grinned mischievously. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I'm going to get a shower. Stay in here."