Longing (Bucky Barnes Fan Fiction)

| twenty |

I sat in the kitchen with Sam on one side of me and Wanda on the other. Across from me was Steve, Scott, and Clint. We were playing an intense game of poker and using pretzels as poker chips. I was teaching Wanda how to play. Sadie was sitting at one end of the table, watching us with an amused grin. Bucky had been watching too but he disappeared downstairs to get a hoodie. Teaching Wanda to play poker gave me deja vu. I had taught Angel years ago how to play. She never got the hang of it but she always did her best.

I was just about to lay down an ace, king, queen, jack, and ten of hearts.

"Widia!" Bucky's panicked voice made me drop my cards. I was on my feet and raced to the basement in a heartbeat. I could hear everyone behind me, following me down the stairs.

"Bucky!" I shouted back, hastily searching the main room in the basement. He wasn't on our makeshift bed in the corner of the room. "Buck—,"

He came barreling out of the bathroom just as I was about to go in and check on him. We ran straight into each other. The force would've knocked me off my feet had he not grabbed my arms to steady me. His heart was racing and big blue eyes searched mine.

"What's wrong, James?" I furrowed my brows together. He looked spooked and almost scared.

"You're–You didn't–You're pregnant?" He was nearly out of breath. My lips parted with his words.

"What in the world makes you think that, Bucky?" I brought my hands up to hold his arms as his right hand found my stomach.

"The-The box in there." He shook his head, anxiously licking his lips as he looked down at my stomach. I looked over his shoulder to see the box of pregnancy tests on the counter. I didn't realize I had left it out after taking another test. "Widia, why–What–How did–Why the hell didn't you tell me—,"

"I'm not pregnant, Bucky." I cut him off. His brows drew together and he started to open his mouth to speak but no words came out. I glanced over my shoulder at the sound of movement. Everyone was leaving the basement and quietly making their way up the stairs. "I got the tests after I had that dream the other night about you and those kids. I just-I was paranoid and wanted to know if it wasn't just a weird dream."

"Why didn't you tell me you were taking tests?" His voice lowered to a soft whisper. Confused blue eyes met mine.

"Because I didn't want to.... Bucky, I didn't want to do that to you." I shook my head. My hand came up to cup his face. "I know we've talked about it but there's just no logical, safe way we can do that right now."

"So.... they came back negative? How many did you take?"

"Yes, they were all negative. I wanted to make sure they were all the same so I took three." My thumb gently brushed over his scratchy jaw.

"Would you've told me if they were positive?" His hand softly rubbed my side.

"Of course." I leaned forward to place a handful of soft kisses on his neck. "I'd want you to know the second I knew."

He fell silent, large arms wrapping around me to hold me close. His cheek rested against my head.

"I love you, doll."

"I love you too, sugar."

"But I love you more."

"Guys!" Sam shouted from the top of the stairs. "Get up here!"

"What now?" Bucky grumbled.

———

Steve was on the phone with someone when we entered the kitchen.