Fading // Larry Stylinson

Chapter 5:

Im suddenly awaken by the loud yelling of my name coming from upstairs. What could I have done this time?

"Louis!" Ken yells from upstairs. I rub my eyes and sit up. Time to prepare for the worst.

"LOUIS!" he yells louder. Damn, something really bad must have happened.

"Im coming!" I yell back. I walk out the living room and towards the stairs. I see Emily sitting on the top step with her head burried in her hands. What is going on?

"What happened?" I ask her quietly once I reach to her step. She doesnt answer me and just points to my bedroom. As I walk in, I see everything trashed and my window slightly ajar. I dont remember opening it.....

Books are thrown off their shelves, papers are scattered across the floor, posters are ripped from the wall, everything is a mess.

"What the fuck is this!" He practically yells at the top of his lungs.

"I dont know what happened!" I yell back. Its obvious I had nothing to do with it since I was downstairs sleeping the entire time. He doesnt say anything at first and just looks at me with his eyes practically popping out of his head.

"What do you mean you dont know." He says in a calm but still very angry voice.

"I was downstairs sleeping the whole time. I didnt hear anything." I say, standing my ground. I can see his hands roll into fists as he fights an urge. I step back slightly and turn around to go back downstairs. Before I could walk out the door, he calls my name.

"Louis," he says, "where do you think your going?"

"Downstairs?" I reply. Its pretty obvious im not in the mood to argue or clean this mess up. Im still tired from my nap.

"Clean up this mess before I have to make you." He says, trying to be intimidating. I learned the hard way that I shouldnt be intimidated but its still terrifying to know he can and will hurt me at any second.

"I'll do it later." I say with my tired, raspy voice hoping he'll let me go back to sleep if he sees that im really tired. But obviously things never go my way.

"I said do it now!" He yells as he grabs my wrist and punches me in the stomach with his other arm. Before I know whats happening, im on the floor staring at the carpet floor. There is a sharp pain in my lower back region causing me to yelp at the pain.

"Ken, stop it!" I hear Emily yelling as she enters the room. The pain is undescibeable as he steps on my back with his boot. I try to slip from under but he is to fast and presses down even harder making me scream. He finally stops and grabs me by the shoulder. He lifts me up and throws my against the wall.

"If you ever disobey me ever again, you'll have it worse you fucking queer." He said as he throws me back to the ground. The words kept repeating in my head over and over until he left the room with a cold, emotionless look on his face.

Emily didnt do anything. She just stood there and watched. Watched as he kicked my lifeless body into a worthless pile of regret. That was it for me. I couldnt even think straight. I just wanted to disappear from this world. Its not like anyone would care. Not even my Emily.

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I finally stand up and sit down on the bed. Before I realize it, my face is soaked with tears and little cries escape my mouth. I was done. Absolutly done. I can only think of one thing to do. The one thing is always do.

Ive been 3 weeks clean and this is the longest ive gotten without picking out a razor. It all started after the first time Ken hit me. Oh how I regret picking up that razor and slicing it against my skin. I know it seems odd, but there is something that I felt satisfying about the pain I received. It gave you a feeling of clarity that you just wanted more and more of. Almost like an addiction.

I look over to my desk and see the sharp blade sitting next to the stack of papers. My body is telling me to pick it up and slash it across my skin, but my mind is telling me no.

Soon enough, my body over powers me. I bring my rattling feet to the desk and pick up the razor. I cant do it here, not with the door wide open and a possibility of them seeing me. I walk across the hall to the bathroom with the razor hidden in my jeans. I lock the door and sit on the toilet with the razor sitting in my fingers. I bring it up to my wrist and scratch it across my skin. Im not actually cutting, im just making playing with the razor.

Suddenly, my body fills with anger as flashbacks from earlier storm my head, sending the razor to slash across my skin. The razor slips from my fingers and falls to the cold tile floor. My sudden moves shock me and the pain is unbearable. What just happened?

There is blood, and lots of it. I grab the nearest towel and press down on my wound. I didnt mean for that to happen. I didnt even mean to pick up the razor in the first place. The cut isnt as deep as I thought but with the amount of blood, you wouldnt be able to tell.

I stay there, pressing the towel down on my wrist, holding my breath and trying not to scream. Finally when the blood has dies down, I start to feel dizzy. Oh, no. I have to get out of here. The towel is now a deep red and it drips of blood, my blood. I soak out the towel and hide it in my back pocket. My cut still hurts, sending chills down my body as I see my toen apart skin.

I make my way to my room to hide the towel and razor. I hide the towel in the back of my closet and put the razor at the top if my bookshelf. I have to clean up before he comes up here and beats me again.

I start to tape the posters back to their walls, stacking the books where they previously were, and pick up the papers that were thrown across the floor.

Just as I pick up the last paper, I find a folded note laying on the floor. Thats weird, I dont remember making a note. I pick it up and unfold it. My expression changes immediatly as I read the most terrifying yet confusing words.

* You look cute when you sleep ;) xx H.S *

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HEY GUYS!! SORRY I HAVENT BEEN UPDATING. SCHOOL HAS BEEN A MESS AND I GET SO MUCH WORK.IM TRYING TO UPDATE MORE OFTEN SO IF I DONT UPDATE YOU KNOW WHY. :((

IM STILL REALLY SICK BUT IM TRYING TO DO MY BEST. THANK YOU SO MUCH AND I LOVE YOU <333
-Oscar. X