My phone lights up. The fifteenth message from Blake all day. And it's only midday.
I decide to open the messages and have a read. They start out as a simple "hi", "hello?", "you ok?", "can we talk?"s. Lots of "sorry"'s
Until the most recent one " No matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back. I meant it the first time, y/n. And I mean it now. Can we talk? I need to explain this to you, for you to listen to me, just this one last time."
I breathe deeply before I compose a reply. I come up with this
Me: I know... But you hurt me, B. Badly. I want to trust you, listen to you... When are you free, I guess?
A reply arrives instantly. Of course.
B: I'm free tomorrow after the studio session. Around 4? Meet me at Nando's"
B: Thank you for taking a chance on me... You won't regret this.
I probably will, I think, you don't think before you do. You do what suits you and that hurt. There was no need for that text. You had to end it so quickly... Why?
__________
Sure enough, Blake is outside Nando's and looks like he's been waiting a while, even though it's only 3:45.
"Um thanks for coming, I guess," he says
"Everyone deserves a second chance, I suppose," I reply without looking at him and walk inside.
We get to a table quickly and awkwardly and Blake goes to order.
"I'll have a-" I start
"Lemon and herb heat Halloumi and portabello mushroom wrap with creamy mash and peri peri chips with a bottomless. soft drink," he says, bringing his eyes to mine. "I didn't forget, my love."
I snap away from his glance, "Um thanks, I guess."
"when he gets back the air between us is awkward until he goes to speak and I look at him.
"Um, I uh"... I reach for his hand across the table.
"I'm mad at you, yes, Blake but just spit it out. The faster you speak the faster we can eat and enjoy our meal..."
"Alright. Here goes... that text seemed random. Yes. But I didn't want to send it. I had to. I was - I uh. I cheated... At our album release party, a girl came onto me and before i could resist-"
"Did you kiss her back?" I say, pulling my hands away... "Did. You. Pull. Away."
He shakes his head slowly, his eyes brimming with tears.
Shockwaves run through my body, my eyes instantly imitating Blake's.
Our food arrives, but appetite is long gone...
Tears race down my face, "Y-You said it wasn't working out between us. That it was all you. What did I do, to make you do that? Was I not enough?!" He shakes his head
"It's not like that"
I stare down at my plate, anger ruhing through me
"It's not like that? It's not like that... Ok. So, suggest I am enough, but you want more? You selfish piece of- Ugh! I thought you loved me."
"I do love you-"
I look up at him.
"You could have said no. You could. Have said. No." I pause and look him dead in the eyes "I came today preparing to forgive you, let you come back home. Let you hold me like you used to. But no. You ruined that. Two letters could have gotten you that. But go live with her now. You don't love her, and you probably don't even remember her name, but at that moment you chose her over me so you go and do that now." I pause again, looking back down. "You knew it was wrong. I know you did. But you couldn't stop yourself hurting me, could you?"
"It's not like that" he repeats.
"I don't want to know what it's like. Because if you're honest with yourself right now, you'd know that she wouldn't have made a move on you if she knew you were taken." His silence contains all the answers.
I hardly touch my food and stand up to leave.
"You actually make me sick, Blake. I don't want anything to do with you."
I leave the restaurant and grab my bike and go home, anger and sadness coursing through my body.
I walk into my house and take off the promise ring that I had worn in hope. Hope is for suckers. I should have known. I throw the ring and it clangs into my metal bin. Good shot, y/n. I collapse onto the sofa and let the tears wash out the sadness. I message Beth and Rhianna and they're over to mine pretty quickly.
We binge Netflix all night until they have to leave.
I pick up my phone see a text from Blake as I get into bed
B: "No matter how long you're gone, I'm always gonna want you back
I know you know I will never get over you
No matter where I go, I'm always gonna want you back."
Are you sure you want to Block this number?
I click yes and put my phone on the nightstand, turn over and fall into a peaceful slumber
