Adventures With My Uterus

Encounters of the Awkward Kind

It was day four of my first period and already i had:
●perioded the sofa
●perioded my bed
●perioded my leggins and any other respectable clothing i owned
●just bloodied anything i really sat on
●snapped at my brothers (and chucked a spoon at one)
●cried at the breast cancer race for life advert
●gone through two tubs of ice cream
And last but not least
●had my father ask me if i wanted any sanitary towels

Oh the shame!!!

So if anybody knows me, you would know that i am probably the most awkward person i know. Because i am awkward.
And don't know many people.

My awkwardness isn't just a phase, either. It's hereditary (from my dad's side) so i'm sure you could imagine how many buckets of sweat and 'uhs' there were during this encounter.

*previously*

Even though my curtains were black, i was still awoken by the sun peeking through the gaps and i felt a slight burn on my five-head. It was day three since the dream and because i was a woman now (again for three days) i felt pretty used to waking up to a small puddle of blood that had dripped backwards and up my back, leaving a dark blood stain that would need scrubbing oof. I checked the time, and to my horror i realised it was half 7, and i had to leave in twenty minutes in order to get to school in time, and because i'm so basic i had yet to apply thick eyeliner and eyebrows as well as stop off at Starbucks for my double espresso shot soya milk grande hazelnut latte.
^^lmao just kidding i am wayyyy too cheap for that crap every morning i had it like once

I threw on a shirt and skirt and shoved a pad down my pants (which then went on to stick to my inner thigh and drive me crazy all day) completely forgot about my makeup and hair; grabbed a piece of bread for breakfast and shoved an apple and some crisps in my bag for lunch; made a coffee and shouted " i'm going to school now byyyyyyyyeeeeee"  (if the neighbours weren't already awake they were then).

But no. That was not all.
As soon as i was about to slam the door, i heard a "wait hold on" from my dad who was sitting on the sofa.

So just a bit of context (my English Lit teacher would no doubt be proud), i have only ever heard this phrase on few occasions:
1~ when my dog died
2~ any other time that i had been in trouble
So this couldn't end well

"Uh so your mother told me that you, uh, have started menstruating, do you,uh, need any um sanitary towels?" 
Both of us looked at the floor all the while. I could feel my face turning a deep crimson, sweat pooled at the back of my neck and my hands fiddled with each other, like they were battling to be the most awkward.

"No, but uh thanks," i mumbled and ran out the door, not looking back.

It took me 3 whole hours to cool down and to stop sweating.