Pepper never meant to lose her best friend. Lucas never meant to fall in love.
Yet the aftermath of broken hearts leads them to blur the lines of their friendship forever. When Pepper is dumped by her boyfriend and Lucas is led on by his crush, they...
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I'VE NEVER DREADED going to a school dance as intensely as I am right now.In fact, I've never dreaded going to a dance or any kind of school function before. Being Lucas' date is practically unbearable, but I try to focus on the good things he's done tonight. He picked me up early and gave me roses. He called me beautiful twice. We went to dinner at my favorite seafood restaurant, where he showered me in compliments and started talking about our future. I tried to express my doubts, but either he ignored me or just didn't hear me. It seems he stopped hearing me a long time ago.
I don't want to upset him or hurt his feelings by telling him how numb I am. How vomit has been resting at the bottom of my stomach, trying to come up every time I'm reminded that after this, we're going back to his place.
There have been a few times where I've almost cried, but I suck it up because I don't want him to think he needs to comfort me. When he comforts me, I only feel worse.
As we enter the school building and follow the glittering white and baby blue, winter-inspired decorations to the gymnasium, the numbness in my chest spreads. I can't use my lungs to breathe. Everything hurts. My eyes are burning with tears trying to ruin my made up face. I know Lucas cares about me, but I hate what we've become.
When he looks down at me in excitement as we enter the gym, I smile back with all my might. "You're so beautiful," he murmurs and plants a kiss on my forehead.
I fight the urge to recoil and thank him before turning to scan the crowded dance floor, peering through the various shades of blue flashing over the students. "What if Amber is here?" Just the thought of her seeing me with Lucas sends claws of guilt wrapping around my throat, suffocating me until I feel like I'm as blue as these stupid decorations.
Lucas slings an arm around my waist and pulls me to his body until I'm wrapped in his lavender scent. "Just say what we did last time. We're here as friends. You need someone to help you get over your breakup."
"Okay." I bite my lip and still look around with frantic eyes for a sign of Amber. Lena's warning has been bothering me for over a week now. If Amber finds out, she'll hate me. I don't want her to hate me. I want her to like me. I want us to be friends without me feeling guilty over the fact that I'm dating the guy she likes.
"Hey." Lucas' voice is gentle, and his palm finds my cheek to lift my attention to the compassion swirling in his green irises. "Don't worry about that, okay? Tonight is going to be perfect. I'm going to make you so happy. Every single moment is going to be about us. Nothing else."
"Sure." Has it ever really been about us?
His smile falters. Darkness bleeds into his gaze, but he shifts his eyes away from me and tucks me under his arms instead. "Let's have fun."
I bite my tongue, resist the urge to wriggle away from him, and let Lucas lead me to the dance floor. As he pulls me close, aligning our bodies, and moves me into a playful sway, remnants of our past seep into my emotionless void. Just a couple of months ago, we were in this same exact gymnasium. I remember Lucas was still my friend, and I found him kissing Amber back when she was all he wanted. Now I wish he wanted neither of us and would just leave me alone. How could so much change so fast? I remember hating Mason with all my heart, but then loving him twice as much when he told me he still loved me. When he told me to wait for him to turn eighteen. Now none of it matters.
