Why do children have to be so small?

Nightmares

Someone knocks on the door. Housekeeping? Now? I sit up and look around. It’s three am, the room is completely dark. Who would be knocking now? They knock again.
“I’m coming…”
I force myself out of my bed and look through the peephole in the door. It’s… Hitoshi and Eri? I open the door and look at them.
“Hi, daddy!”
Eri is holding Hitoshi’s hand. It seems like she’s the one who got him out of bed.
“What’s going on?”
“‘Toshi had a nightmare, so I said that whenever I have nightmares I always go to you!”
I smile a little.
“Go sleep with papa and I’ll take care of your brother, okay?”
I put a hand on Hitoshi’s shoulder. Eri runs inside and crawls into bed. I pull Hitoshi into the room and close the door after him.
“Hey... are you okay?”
He shakes his head. I grab his arm and walk with him to the bathroom. I let him sit down on the toilet.
“Talk to me, ‘Toshi.”
“I wanna go home.”
His voice was weak and small. I put a hand under his chin and push his head up. His cheeks and eyes are red, he’s been crying.
“My boy…”
I grab some tissue and wet it, before wiping his face with it.
“Do you want to sleep with us?”
He doesn’t answer. His body is shaking, he’s crying again.
“Hey, it’s okay, it was just a dream.”
I wrap my arms around him. He lets out a small sob against my shoulder.
“Do you want to tell me what happened in your dream?”
“T-they all died… and I c-couldn’t save them…”
“Your classmates?”
He nods.
“M-maybe I w-won’t be a good h-hero after all…”
“Hey. Don’t say that about yourself. You’ll be a great hero. That’s why I went through all of that to train you so you could join the hero course. Don’t you dare tell me you won’t be a good hero.”
He doesn’t answer this time either.
“It was just a dream. It wasn’t real.”
I carefully kiss his cheek.
“I may not be your biological father, but I am your real father. I will support you in every decision you make. But you are not allowed to say such patronizing thing about yourself.”
I let him cry against my shoulder for however long he needs to. He doesn’t really cry that often, so it’s good that he can let out his emotions for once. He lets go of me after a couple of minutes.
“How about we go to sleep?”
He nods again. We both stand back up and walk to the bedroom. Hizashi and Eri are asleep, laying tight next to each other. I pull the covers to the side and let Hitoshi crawl in first. I put out my arm so he can use it as a pillow, just like he did when he was younger.
“I love you, dad…”
He’s already closed his eyes and might even be asleep. I smile a little.
“I love you too, kid.”

When I wake back up, Hitoshi is still sleeping with his head on my arm. Eri and Hizashi seem to have left the room. I carefully nudge him.
“Hey, ‘Toshi. Wake up.”
He doesn’t react.
“‘Toshi. Get up. We’re late for breakfast.”
He slowly opens his eyes and look around.
“Late…”
“Yeah, I think they’ll stop serving breakfast soon, we have to hurry. Get up.”
I push his back, forcing him to sit up.
“I wanna sleeeeeep…”
“You can sleep outside, come on. Breakfast.”
“Do you think I can nap in the pool?”
“Uh… no because you might drown. Now go to your room and get dressed.”
He slowly gets out of bed and walks to the door.
“Come back here when you’re done, okay?”
“Mmhm…”
As soon as the door closes, I start changing. I’ve almost ran out of shorts and non-black shirts. It’s weird to wear this much color. I put on a blue shirt, shorts and my sandals. I sit back down on the bed and wait for Hitoshi to come back. Unless he fell back asleep. But no, after a couple of minutes, he knocks on the door. I open the door and look at him. His hair is even messier than usual, which I don’t understand how it even happens. He still looks exhausted.
“Ready to go?”
“Mmhmm…”
I grab my room key and lock the door behind me.
“Do you want to talk about what happened last night?”
“No.”
“Okay.”
I guess we talked enough yesterday. Talking can be exhausting, I get it. Or, I think I do. We walk in silence to the restaurant area. I have no idea where Hizashi and Eri went. But I guess it’s good to have some alone time with your son sometimes. We reach the cafeteria and grab a plate each. I fill mine with fruits, scrambled eggs and sausage, typical hotel breakfast. I’m starting to miss my juice pouches.
“Are you sure you are okay?”
“Yes, dad, I’m fine. You don’t have to worry so much.”
“You don’t seem fine.”
He just looks down at his plate.
“Come on, I’ve been trained to take care of people. I can see that you’re hurting.”
“It was just a nightmare, nothing else.”
The bags under his eyes are deeper and darker than usual.
“This isn’t the first time you’ve had a nightmare in a while, is it?”
No answer.
“Is it keeping you up at night? Are you having a hard time sleeping?”
No answer.
“Come on, ‘Toshi, talk to me. If you’re hurting I want to help.”
“I-I’m not… hurting…”
“Yes you are, ‘Toshi. I can see it.”
He rubs his eyes. I can’t tell if it’s because he’s crying or because he’s tired. Either way it doesn’t matter.
“Do you want me to get you professional help? So you can sleep properly?”
I get the tiniest nod as an answer.
“J-just… don’t tell pops…”
“If you don’t want to. I’d rather you tell him yourself. Can you do that?”
Another nod.
“I’m glad you told me about this.”
I take a napkin and carefully wipe his cheeks.
“It’s just another week and then I’ll make sure you get the help you need.”
“Thanks, dad.”