something

Day 1.

Every single day is the same.

6:30am my alarm goes off.
I press it off.

Sit on my phone until 6:45.
Roll out of bed- not literally, I'm not an idiot.
Brush my teeth.
I'll show, however not everyday, because it's bad for your skin. I don't need drier skin than I already have.
Get changed.
Lightly dab my face with makeup.
Grab one of those disgusting breakfast bars that I still insist to buy.

I turn on the news, slide onto the smooth plush sofa. Emma told me to change up my flat, so I started to replace the furniture. This sofa is the only thing I have changed, as of yet!

Again, the same boring news report they never seem to stop talking about.
Look!
I get it!
Everyone loves good news.
But hearing about a fucking SQUIRREL everyday is just tedious at this point.
Being honest, the news reports in France aren't much better.

What is going on with France lately?
I'm so worried over everything.
The riots. The endless fights. The police brutality.
It's scary.
And it's exactly the reason I don't tell people I'm from there, I feel ashamed of it.
Toulouse specifically. Very pretty but boring.
As a tourist it's great, but after a week everyone wants to leave.
Imagine having to spend 18 years there.
I spent so long trying to perfect my American accent it's more natural than my old accent.
After a week you've seen everything, it's soporific to see everything over and over again.

Even in my own mind I go off on tangents.
I should probably get going now, Emma will be expecting me.

Today is a nice day, a rarity for Hatchetfield.
I won't need a coat, so I hang it on the back of the door.
I can hear kids screaming from my neighbours house.
Who would want kids?
Loud.
Screaming.
Annoying as hell.

"Hello Henry! How are you doing today?"
Ahh I see the Grandmother is over. She's a very lovely woman.

"Great thanks Mrs Mayweather!"
Her kid Sam is a douchebag, married to a lovely (but very religious) wife called Charlotte.
God only knows what goes on behind closed doors.
I hear the arguments. The shouting. The makeup... you know.
I couldn't imagine the pain inside that household, waiting to be released.
I wave at the kids but speed walk off so that little Oscar and his twin brother Rueben don't come running up to me.

Oscar is a little shit, just like his Dad. But with a more childlike innocence, and you can tell he cares about Rueben. Who is definitely the much more sensitive one of the two. Rueben is very sweet, and often he compliments my choice of clothing and makeup. The first time Rueben saw me with an (ex) boyfriend, he was very excited, and asked us to kiss. He wasn't aware that boys were allowed to kiss.
Charlotte explained that "God wants everyone to be unique and wants us all to love each other."
She is luckily supportive.
Oscar always goes "EW boys!" And runs off.
He's always covered in mud and spends majority of his time with his Dad, you can tell.
But both of them have aspects of the other parents. Oscar goes soft for his brother, and Rueben will become defensive over his brother.

My thoughts carried me off to Beanies.
The door rings,
"Black coffee I'm your coffee gal."
She's singing it to the guy she always talks about.
Paul?
Is that his name?
I don't even know.
Occasionally I'll see him.
Today he's joined by someone.
Him and Emma have travelled to the other side of the counter, talking while she makes this coffee.

I'm pretty sure I'm not much older than them. Since they're like 22 and I'm 24.
("Asking a womans age is rude Henry" However I'm not a woman, but my Mom always said that)
24 and 5 months to be specific, however Emma always makes fun of me.
I don't really have many friends.
Except...
No, he doesn't consider me a friend.

This guy is relatively tall, maybe a bit shorter than me. However I'm gigantic.
He turns and goes to leave, obviously he felt awkward about Paul and Emma.
Anyone would.
He starts to briskly walk out of the shop, but bumped into me on the way.
I guess I shouldn't have been staring.
He looks me up and down, did he just turn a little red?
Doubt it.
His face goes sour.
"Watch out man."
He leaves before stopping just out the door.

"Henry!"
Emma beckons me over.
I follow her voice.
He was kinda rude.
Is it obvious that I'm gay?
Is he homophobic?
Probably.
Piece of shit.

"I'll see you uh... later? Bye Emma!"
He's got a single coffee.
About half a metre away from the counter Emma scrambles to grab another paper cup.

"Don't forget Teds chai latte thing!"
She's so smiley. And not swearing.
Is this my Emma?
He takes it and leaves before looking at her once more, but she is looking down and smiling to herself.

"Ted? Was that the guy he was with?"
She looked at me in shock.

"He's not your usual type Henry!"
I forced disgust upon my face, just to exaggerate how I feel.

"Ew Emma, it's just he bumped into me a-"

"And you fell desperately inlove with him."
She winked.
I punched her arm before continuing.

"I thought he seemed a bit rude."
She raised her brow before explaining how he's the guy that Zoeys boyfriends, wife is having an affair with.

"It's a fucking love triangle."
I wonder if I know them.
All I know is he's a policeman.
I get my usual ("Plus 20% off babey! I'm a good friend to you Henry!") and start heading off to work.

The community college.

Oh god how I hate it.
So much.
I'm the youngest teacher there.
"Why don't you quit?"
"Good pay!" I always reply to Emma.
That's not the reason.

There's this guy.
Tall.
Pearl white teeth.
Dark skin that looks soft to the touch.
Almost black eyes the reside on his face.
Short curly charcoal hair.
He's really gorgeous.
The PE teacher.
I have never found it necessary to learn his last name.
So he's just called Chad.
Everyday I admire him from afar.
We were friends once.
But a drunken night.
That night has caused us to distance ourselves from each other.
I don't regret it though.
His lips are as nice to kiss as they look.
He seems to know everything to make me feel good, even though he had never done anything with a guy before.
Or maybe it was just because it was him.
No bad blood luckily. I don't think he can fully remember everything that happened. And if he can, he probably wishes he didn't.
Neither of us have told anyone.
Theres no one to tell.

8:45.
I better head off to class.
Chad looks at me, and weakly smiles.
His teeth still shine through.
A beautiful angel that graces the earth, that's what he is.
Sorry but it's a fact.

I chuckle to myself, arguing with myself over my own opinion.
God.
Emma said I was going crazy.
Shes probably right.

While I'm sitting waiting for the students to arrive, I notice that I'm twirling my curly hair around my fingers.
I don't do it very often.
Only when there's someone knew on my mind.
Chad isn't new?

Henry what is going on?