something

today? its saturday

I'm seeing Henry today.
In fact right now, we are on the way to get food.
He's tapping his foot to the music.
Lightly.
I should be focusing on the road, not his ripped jeans.
They're black but also kinda gray, it's weird but I like them. His legs look really pale he should probably go outside more.
Maybe I should take him out more.
No.

He asks me about the song, and it doesn't click in my head.
"I Don't Know Why I Like You But I Do,"
Fuck.
I- I don't like him.
I like girls.
Speak.
Force words out.
"th-thats the name- this is-"
Fuck. My words do not work. Thanks brain.

"I like it."
Oh. Okay. He didn't think anything of it.
Good.
Neither did I.

"I'm sorry you were probably expecting better-"
He cuts me off by placing a finger gently on my lips.
His hands smell nice.
Kinda like rose.
Maybe thats why they were soft the other day.
Stop.

"It's great, I love burgers."
Why does that surprise me.
He doesn't seem like the kind of person to like burgers.

The girl that took our orders was fucking annoying.
I could hear Henrys breathing becoming heavy and he increasingly got more annoyed.

"She was nice."
Correction: annoying.

"I don't know, she was trying too hard."
He mumbles something but I don't hear. Too focused on the car moving infront of us.
We take the food and drive off towards this field I always eat at. It's nice. Mulaney Park.

"She was pretty."
Without thinking I say what was on my mind.

"You're much prettier."
I wink so he knows I'm joking. Because I am, joking.
I park in the field, near the lake. It's a nice day.
I look down and I see my hand is on top of his.
And I don't want to move it.
A light tingling sensation begins on my cheek, and then I realise he must've placed his lips there.
It causes the tingling to become stronger and I feel the urge to just grab his face and kiss him.
Feel that angel kiss on my lips.
No I don't.

I jump out of the car and I put my jumper down for him to sit on.
The grass could stain his jeans and I wouldn't want to ruin such a nice outfit.
"Ted! Don't put your jumper down!" He seems distressed that I did it.

"What? Why? You need somewhere to sit."
I'm just wearing a tshirt, a stupid Finding Nemo tshirt. Paul got it me at Christmas.

"I don't want you to ruin it, plus it's fine my jeans are dark!"
He throws it back to me before plomping onto the floor.
I sit next to him facing the little lake.
Biting into the burger I love.
I feel like I can't stomach it, for some reason it feels full.
Of what?

We sit just talking, of really boring subject matters.
"Spirits are real!! Like not Caspar the Friendly Ghost way however."

"Let me stop you there Henry. No they are not."
I turn to look at him, putting my burger down.

"Wheres the evidence against them?"
He looks at me.

"Wheres the evidence for them? Try me."
I feel myself get closer to him, I didn't mean to. It just happened.

"Oh I will."
Kiss me.
No, don't.

"Will you now?"
Just like the other time, we are close to each other.
Millimetres away from each other.
I can't help but notice his eyes flit down to my lips, and then I do the same to his lips.

"Yes."

We get so close. Our argument turns into hushed whispers.  I can't help but push him down onto the ground. On top of him. He looks so beautiful. His face structure is almost perfect, if only he was smiling.
I know how to make him smile.