If I Could || A jungkook short story

six

Note: This part will be in Jungkook's POV.

I returned to the dorm with many thoughts clouding over my head. I didn't even get a wink of sleep. My thoughts were filled with her and us.

I don't even know what to do anymore. I didn't want it to end. I want it to stay longer, but it didn't.

I'm so confused with everything, but I'm sure about one thing. I still love Y/n. I wanted to say the words that I've been meaning to say to her, but it had to be ruined with a fucking phone call.

I grabbed my hair out of frustration as I let out a huge sigh. My head shot up when the door suddenly flew wide open. A familiar face entered my room as he gave me his signature boxy smile.

"What's the problem, bro?" He teased, smirking. "Let me guess...girl problem?" I threw a glare at his way. "If you already knew, why bother ask me?"

"Chill, I was just teasing. You're such a killjoy." I ignored his remark and groaned out of frustration. "You still love her, do you?" My eyes darted towards him as he gave me a serious look.

The earlier playful look completely vanished in thin air as if he never gave me that look minutes ago. I nodded my head and sighed. "Then what are you doing? Shouldn't you be telling her about how you feel towards her?"

My lips broke into a smile as I gave him a bear hug. "You're right. Thanks, bro." I patted him in the back before rushing out and hopping into the car. "Wait for me, y/n. I'm coming for you."

~*~

I stood at your doorway with your favorite flowers in my free hand as I pressed the doorbell for the nth time. A state of slight panic took over me as a lot of scenarios went through my mind.

What if she's not here anymore? What if she flew already? What if she left the place? What if she already left me?

I placed my hand on the doorknob and twisted it, and it opened with a click, much to my surprise. I entered the house, heart beating fast.

It was too quiet and I don't like it. I roamed around the living room until I found a sticky note on the television saying, "turn on the tv".

I did what was written and her face popped up on the screen. I plopped down on the couch as a smile formed on my lips, but it immediately died down when I see her swollen eyes. She was crying.

The video started and I listened intently, not letting anything slip up my ears.

"Hi, if you have seen this video, it means that I'm not there anymore."

You let out a chuckle so beautiful that I could listen to it everyday without getting tired.

"Kookie, I know it's a cowardly thing for me to do this instead of telling you personally, but I can't bring myself to say it to you personally. Sorry. So, I'm just going to say it here."

You cleared your throat as you held back your tears and let out a sad smile.

"I'm sorry for not giving you enough attention and love when we were together. I'm sorry if I lied to you, making up excuses every time you asked me that question. I just don't know how to say it to you. The reason I've been busy was because I was getting treatments. I'm terribly ill, Kookie. I already have this disease since I was young. Doctors have tried everything in their power to cure, but I wasn't getting any better. I cried my eyes out as I imagined myself leaving you all alone in this world. So when I heard you like another girl, I was happy. It hurts a lot, yes, but at least you don't have to deal the pain of being with me anymore. I hope she'll give you the love and attention you deserve. I hope she'll bring the happiness that I didn't manage to bring to you. Kookie, please live on for me. I was the happiest girl when we were together. Our memories will forever be etched in my mind and I know this might sound selfish, but I hope it was etched in your mind too. I'm sorry you had to be with someone who couldn't give you anything. I'm really sorry you had to love someone like me. I love you, Jeon Jungkook. I always do."

And just like that, the video ended and so did my whole world. I didn't even realize that my cheeks were stained with my tears already.

Sudden realization dawned upon me and it tore my heart into pieces. I just lost her. She left and she will never come back anymore.

You really never appreciate someone unless you lose them. I didn't even manage to say the words I've always wanted to say to you.

I love you, Y/n. I always do. Will you spend the rest of your life with me?

Regret started gnawing at me, eating me up slowly. I wasted everything. I wasted our time. I wasted our love. I wasted you. Tears blurred my vision as I stared at your face on the screen.

"If I could turn back to the time where the word 'us' still exist, would you still be here by my side?"

A/N: Fin! I hope you like the story 💜 (and yes im a sucker for sad endings uwu 🤧)