Sth to bless your day

79 9 10
                                    

Peter: Hey! Hey Mr Thor! You dropped this.

Peter *holds Mjölnir*

Thor *looks down to see a tiny innocent child*

Thor:

Loki:

Hulk:

Avengers:

Thanos:

Everyone else:

Tony: see him? That's my kid. Right there. In the spiderman suit.

***

Peter *touching any and every alien stuff in a flying doughnut ship*

Stephen: Hey don't touch that. Stark, can you please control your son?!

Tony: he's not m- PETER PARKER PUT THAT DOWN OR SO HELP ME!

Peter: sorry!

Tony: as I was saying. He's not my son.

***

Tony: I wanna show you a picture from last night that really upset me.

Peter: ok but in my defense MJ bet 50 cents that I couldn't drink all that shampoo.

Tony: that's not what I wanted to- wait you drank shampoo?

Peter: what?

Peter: no.

***

Peter: At my funeral I'm going to have a kahoot game with 1000 questions about my life whoever wins gets my entire will.

Tony: bold of you to assume I'm going to let you die.

***

Peter: I crave death.

Tony: but you're a child.

Tony: you should crave sleep

Peter: and the souls of innocents?

Tony, vigorously throwing a blanket at Peter: sleep.

***

Steve: whose turn is it to give the pep talk?

Bruce, sighing: it's Tony's turn...

Tony: *ahem* fuck shit up out there and don't die and I'm looking at you parker.

Nat *wipes a tear away*

Nat: inspirational

Peter: 😑

***

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