The Girl Next Door ➸ camren

twenty one

It's two weeks before the wedding, which means Lauren is leaving for college in only a month. She's sitting on the swing on her front porch, slowly swinging herself back and forth by moving her weight from her heel to her toes repeatedly. Camila is coming over any minute now, and Lauren has something exciting to tell her.

She walks up to her neighbor's house and sits down next to her girlfriend. She quickly jumps into conversation, not noticing the fact that the look on Camila's face does not match her excited smile.

⠀⠀⠀She places her hands on the back of her neck. "So I was thinking that today you can finally teach me how to ride a horse. You've been dying to do it for forever, and I keep pushing it back. I'm leaving soon, and I don't have much time, so let's do it today. Sound like a plan?"

⠀⠀⠀It sounds like an amazing plan to Camila. If there are two things the girl loves in the world, they are Lauren and horses. To put the two of them together finally is something she's only been able to dream about since she's scared to death of them. It takes everything in her not to jump on the opportunity.

⠀⠀⠀"Actually," she says, "I need to talk to you."

⠀⠀⠀"Oh," she frowns. Lauren removes her hands from around her and sinks back into the cushion of the swing, slightly embarrassed by the situation. "What's up?"

Camila leans in and kisses her quickly, long and hard.

⠀⠀⠀When she pulls away, Lauren smiles and jokes, "That wasn't talking."

⠀⠀⠀"We need to break up," Camila blurts befores she can talk herself out of it.

⠀⠀⠀The smile slips from Lauren's face.

"W-what? Is this... Is this a joke?" She waits for her to reply, but she doesn't. "Camila? What's going on?"

"I love you," her voice cracks, "so much."

⠀⠀⠀She can feel tears stinging the corners of her eyes. "Then why do you want to break up?"

⠀⠀⠀"Because you're going to New York, and I'm not going with you," she explains.

⠀⠀⠀"We said we were going to do long distance, remember? We talked about this already. We can make it work," Lauren cries. Tears begin to roll down her cheeks, and Camila quickly reaches out to rub them away.

⠀⠀⠀"I know that's what we said, but that's not what I want for you," she says. "I want you to go and have the best four years of your life. You should go to parties and clubs. You should stay out all night and not have to worry about finding time to call me. You should be able to meet new people and be with them and not have to miss out on time with them to make time for me. You should meet new girls and connect with them and not have to worry about hurting me. I want you to go to college and actually go to college, not be there and be missing out on stuff because I'm here."

⠀⠀⠀She shakes her head. "What about what I want? I want you. I'll do anything for you. I don't need any of that stuff."

⠀⠀⠀"Lauren," she says, "this is your dream. I'm not going to be the person that gets in the way of that. I'm not going to be the person that keeps you from having any type of fun you want. I know you'd do anything for me, and I know you'd miss out on whatever for me. I don't want you to. I won't let you."

Lauren rubs her eyes with her fists. "Please don't do this. I love you."

⠀⠀⠀"I'm sorry," she whispers. "Please understand."

⠀⠀⠀"I don't," she says.

⠀⠀⠀"I'm sorry," she repeats, and she stands up.

⠀⠀⠀"Camila," she calls after her. "Camila, please."

It feels like her whole world stops when Camila keeps walking until she reaches her house. The summer breeze stops blowing. The birds stop chirping. Even the smell of the pigs in her backyard disappears. All that's left is herself and the knowing of what has just happened. She feels nothing, and then it hits her all at once. The pain. The heartache.

⠀⠀⠀Lauren struggles to her feet, feeling unbalanced as her whole body begins to tremble with sobs, and flings the front door to her house open. She stumbles down the hallway to her bedroom, the now fairly large Honey following at her heels.

⠀⠀⠀She flops down on her bed, burying her face in her pillow and wrapping her arms around the stuffed bear Camila had given her on Valentine's Day. Honey jumps up on the bed and nuzzles her nose into Lauren, laying down beside her and whining, feeling her owner's sadness.