Luck Of An Irish Girl.

Chapter 1

Holding my Dublin City University degree in my hand was all a little surreal but in a good way. I embraced the achievement with a surprising amount of pride, if asked a few weeks prior to this moment I doubt I'd have shown much interest or desire in the moment. Since my whole world had collapsed last August , my time off collage in Dublin to hit rock bottom and wallowing in self pity had tossed my career ideas and future off the rails. As I no longer knew what I wanted or even who I was I had expected it to mean nothing to me.
      
I looked around at my class mates who had been there to drag me out of the pit of depression. At first going back to collage for the remaining months had been merely to keep them happy, it was due to them I had got this in the end. My over organizational need and control freak self had made it so that my thesis was all but ready to go with a bit of peer pressure tidying it was made presentable and submitted. Now for the first time in my 22 years I had no idea what next. The Girl who always had a plan had none.

"Freya get in here" Lydia screeched as they all piled into a photo. I threw myself into the mix smiling broadly. After the onslaught of pictures, selfies, social media updates and an element of high pitched laughter I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"You know we are so proud of you. We are amazed at how you picked yourself up after everything." My mother beamed through tear glazed eyes.  I embraced her close.
"I had alot of people supporting me and rooting for me" I replied. My father stood silently by her side. He embodied the 1950's cliche of the Irish man, silent, strong and he would say nothing about feelings. If he ever received bad news his answer was
" ah be god" with a bowed head and a quick blessing of himself or a simple nod. I knew him well but being a country girl it was normal to me. Small villages in Ireland still held traditions and gender roles that had been broken down for my generation but men like my father still existed in a small minority. He simply nodded to me. He spoke to me very little since the incident. I think he was relieved when I left Galway after it and returned to Dublin to finish college.

My mother dried the edges of her eyes.
"He would be proud of you today too you know" she added. My blood ran cold my heart skipped a beat briefly.
"I don't want to think about that Mom" I replied a little more harshly then I ment to. But that sentence had almost become a reflex response now.
"Sean knew how hard you worked for this" she continued on. The sound of his name widened the ache in my chest. I instantly felt tears rush up behind my eyes. The man of few words my father was a people watcher and he knew in this moment how hard I was struggling.
"Enough Evelyn." He placed a hand on her arm. "Today is a day for Freya and her friends" he motioned to the girls gathered near by. His motion toward the girls seemed to be the only signal Linda, Noreen and Grainne needed to break in on the conversation.

"Freya Ash are you ready to party" Noreen laughed. I shook away my tears and gave a dad a quick one armed embraced.
"Sure am." I smiled. I said my goodbyes to my parents and loaded into a taxi with my friends.

We stopped off at our shared house on Clonliff Road to change. Most of our stuff was packed and boxed. In two days we would go our separate ways. My room was over shadowed by the high walls of the iconic hill 16 stand of the National Stadium as I looked out I felt a pang of sadness. I was going to miss the match day noise, Sean had been so excited to be in such close proximity to Croke Park when I moved here. Again I shook away the memories. I quickly changed, fixed my eye make up and joined the girls down stairs.

Lydia stood at the counter wrestling open bottle of wine. The pop of the cork echoed around the kitchen, she took a swig straight from the bottle.
"Classy girl" I laughed. Lydia came from the affulant side of Dublin but choose to live near college with us, seeing as her family was well off she mostly did what she wanted when she wanted. Her only barrier was her super conservative boyfriend. She had a massive personality and wild was an understatement. Most of my what the hell was I thinking moments usually started with Lydia and I having a quiet drink that snowballed.

" You know me Freya. I'm going to drink this one way or another, I deserve it and then I am going to dance the night away." She took another big drink. "After this week I am going to have to use this degree to get a job and be a reasonable adult. I fully intend to act like an irresponsible young adult in style one last time." She added. Lydia could hold her drink well, with or without it she was a wild child, besides nine times out of ten Lydia would bail around closing time in pursuit of her boyfriend.

Noreen sat cross legged on the coffee table drinking a beer, she was a laid back girl. She was a fun loving creature but was for the past year showing signs that she was ready to settle down with her boyfriend. We all just weren't sure her boyfriend felt the same.

Grainne was single, she was big hearted and had a habit of picking up boys who needed alot of work. Boys with issues her big heart thought she could fix. This ment alot of the past three years had seen us support Grainne through one strange relationship to the next. Both girls were smoking and drinking beer.

"I can't believe this is it for us living together" Grainne blurted out I poured out a drink of vodka for myself and gave a small smile.
"I know it will be weird" I replied.
We sat in comfortable silence as we drank.

" Oh no this is not how today is going to go" Lydia piped up. Now nearly half her way down the bottle she turned up the music.
"This isn't goodbye it's another new chapter" she shouted over the music. "Let's go dancing" she added. We all filed out to Cooper's night club. A club in Dublin that was packed every night of the week and usually went on until the small hours of the morning.

I opened my eyes , my vision blurred. I was in my own room that was my first victory. I turned over in the bed the only thing with me was a cold half eaten pizza another victory. I stumbled to the adjoining bathroom my make up was smeared, I had clearly stepped out of my dress and was only in underwear. I groaned hoping this wasn't a repeat of a second year experience where I opened the door to the pizza man drunk in underwear. The girls still laughed about it. Sean had eventually seen the funny side too. The thought of his name made the hangover nausea worse. I quickly washed my face and threw on a jumper and jeans. I brushed my hair up into a pony tail. It was lunch time and sounded like no one else was up. I entered the sitting room and found Grainne on the sofa with some grundgy styled guy in combat boots. I sighed looked like another male project for her, but I hoped this guy was different because this time Grainne wouldn't have me, Noreen or Lydia in the next bedroom to pick up the pieces. Maybe he is my brain snarked have a little faith, Grainne clearly had.

The next two days saw Grainne move home to Claire already smitten with combat boots boy Ed and high hopes of a good long distance relationship with a guy she knew two days. I envied her optimistic outlook.

Lydia moved in with her boyfriend Derick to a Dublin City centre apartment where she was starting a graphic design job and he was already working in an accountancy firm. Lydia the wild child was suddenly part of a solid working professional couple. I envied her stability and relationship.

Noreen was following her boyfriend to Australia and that was the extent of her plan. She loved him so fiercely and blindly. I envied her love.

I packed my stuff into my car and drove home to my parents in Galway full of envy for my friends and no dreams, wants or ambitions of my own.