Heal the Pain (Kouen X Fem!Reader){HIATUS}

Official Covenants

"You are certainly a good healer, Y/n. I am proud to say that I had a part in teaching you." Grangran told as she handed you a golden necklace with an intricate symbol carved in it. The runes were carved in fashion to create a defensive aura. "With this necklace, you are now recognized as an official healer by every one of the kind. Including doctors, and they will let you help them if it comes down to it."

"Thank you, Grangran. I... don't feel like I'm ready," You confessed. "I don't know what to do on the actual battlefield. What if I do something wrong?"

"You are part of the great Kouga Clan, aren't you? Swallow your pride and know that the Rukh will help your ancestors help you." Grangran scolded, gently slapping you across the side with her stick. You groaned even though it didn't exactly hurt.

"Yes, Grangran..." You responded softly. But doubts still clouded your mind. You weren't really Kouga blood. You didn't even know your ancestors. And there was the fact that even if you were now a skilled magician, you still were mediocre in the ways of war. Because of this, you doubted that you could make an influence.

And, above all, disappoint Kouen. He was the type of person that you wanted to please on instinct. The type of person that you didn't want to disappoint. The type you wanted to impress. And so far, he wasn't really impressed with anything you did. Only once did he show that he was impressed with your skills, and only once did anything rise out of it.

But you weren't really close, probably because he didn't want to be. A sigh escaped your lips. A gentle hand suddenly ran itself through your hair, petting it. "It's alright, dear child. You have many skills others do not. Kouen is a busy man who does not think of relationships of any kind often. He will come to you in due time, and when he does, it's your job to protect what little feelings he has left. You are a healer, and that does not mean just the body. It means also the mind and the heart and the soul. All four of these components make us who we are, and what we are supposed to be." Grangran told you.

You looked at her, frowning. "I don't want to protect him, though. I want to go back." Your voice split like shattered glass, suddenly lost in the wind. You started crying. You missed them all. The children, the parents, your best friend, your first mentor. A small part of you knew that you were being selfish, wanting to go back as wholly as you did. And that selfishness made you feel worse.

"Now, now, it's natural to miss the people you grew up with and stayed beside. It's even more so natural to wish for someone to comfort you in these times. But you must stay strong for them. If you go back, you will only put them in danger. Don't attempt to go back, for they will not recognize you. You are stronger then the woman left in that village. That woman was weak; she wanted to be protected. The woman standing now is strong- she wants to protect others."

"I-I'm sorry." You apologized, wiping away the tears streaming down your face.

"Y/n!" A strong, unsympathetic voice called for you. "If you are done with that stupid ritual of yours, then let us get ready to go." You sniffed one last time, standing up.

"I'll see you one day, Grangran."

"You take care of yourself, Y/n. And those foolish soldiers!" She added with a laugh. You smiled, nodding in agreement. She sent you off, necklace in hand. You hurried over to the voice that had summoned you. It was no surprise that the voice belonged to none other than Kouen. A soft frown crossed your lips.

You weren't disappointed that Kouen was the person who had called for you, but it was rather odd to be looking at him square in the face, knowing that you were his equal now.

Equal because you both could tell each other what to do in certain situations. It felt weird, knowing that you could order him around. Not only that, but he would have to respect you now. The feeling was new. It was... a bit pride-inducing.

"Is something wrong, Y/n? You don't seem very... happy to see me." He asked calmly. A bit too calmly, in your opinion.

"No..." You responded hesitantly. "I was just thinking about my friends in the village. And I was thinking about what new experiences I'll receive in the next couple of weeks. I've never really fought on the battlefield." You told him honestly.

"You won't be fighting. You'll only go on the field of battle should there be a need. Otherwise, I expect you to be in the medic tents with the nurses and wounded soldiers. And if you decide to disobey my commands, I'm sure you understand that there will be dire consequences, yes?" Kouen asked. You nodded.

Still, as duty-bound as ever, You thought, knowing that the irritation coming off of him in waves was because of some high-class noble or something. "Of course I understand. But I'm also confused about something," You confessed as you followed him to the stables. God, it was still intimidating to be this close to the red-haired Prince, even after all the time you'd known him.

"Go on," He invited.

"Will there be anyone guarding the tents? It's just I've not heard of such a thing occurring so far." You asked. Kouen nodded.

"Of course." Kouen began to explain the positions and what generally happened during a battle. You listened intently, hoping to gain a fleeting glimpse of understanding if just that. "Most generals and people like myself are seated in the tents as you will be, but I'm not willing to not fight. You understand?" He asked.

"Um... You lost me." You answered.

"Great. So you still don't get it." Kouen sighed. "Well, you'll see soon enough anyway, so it's no big deal." He went on, pausing at a large room. "This is where we part ways. Unless you'd like to observe a war council?"

"I think I'll leave the military strategy to those who actually understand. Thank you for the invitation, however, Lord Kouen." You responded, bowing.

"Good choice. Enjoy your day, Y/n." Kouen patted your shoulder and left. You puffed. What an odd interaction. Then again, your interactions with the prince were always odd. Perhaps it was because he was a prince? With a sigh, you pondered what would occur tomorrow and left.