a million dreams [tgs klance au]

this is me

Hunk

I stared at the door, still hearing the sound of its slam echoing in my ears. It was followed by the muffled tone of Shiro's voice as he called for a toast to Curtis. A wave of hurt flooded over me. I was not rich. I was not like the pos party-goers in that room. I was too loud, too big, too buff. I did not belong here.

And yet, I was not about to let Shiro change me to what he wanted to see. I would not let him make me feel bad about myself or my muscles or my voice- too many people had done that already. I was purely and wholly myself, after learning from the scorn I'd faced for so long.

I was not going to pretend to be someone else just because that fit the status quo.

I slowly turned to face the performers. My friends. My family. 

"I... am not a stranger to the dark," I said slowly. "A lot of people have said a lot of things about me. I guess we just didn't see that Mr. Shiro could be one of those people." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Acxa reach for Veronica's hand. We were united here as those who didn't really fit in anymore. We didn't have poise. We didn't have wealth. But we had each other. 

Determined, I looked over the circus, my brows falling together, fists clenched. "I won't let them break us down like this. We've made a home and a family no matter the controversy we face."

The performers murmured in agreement and I felt my heart flutter hopefully. Together, we left the corridor, walking downstairs to the lobby. We were a pride of lions- loud, victorious, glorious. We were different colors, shapes, sizes. We loved who we loved. We believed what we knew to be true. 

As we stepped out into the grand foyer of the theater, I felt my stomach squirm and anxious hesitation stop me in my tracks for just a moment. These people, draped in silk and velvet and money... they did not care for us. They didn't see that we were equal to them. In their masked eyes, we were inferior and always would be. 

They turned to look at us as we entered. Their looks were coated in mild disgust, petty snobbiness. Biting my lip, I steeled myself. 

"I am brave, I am bruised..." I felt my voice shaking in my throat. "This is who I'm meant to be." One step forward and the crowd parted like the Red Sea. With renewed confidence, I whispered, "This is me."

We walked forward with our heads held high. We were not inferior. We were beautiful, strong, and courageous. And we weren't going anywhere.

...

Keith

I watched over their performance in the wings. Shiro had not returned- I assumed he was getting drunk with Curtis and the people I so hated. My emotions were, for the first time in a long time, a complete jumbled mess. 

With Lance, I knew I'd fucked up. I knew I'd probably never deserve his attention again, but the internalized fear of my father, the ingrained disassociation with the so-called 'lower-class' threatened to swallow me whole. I was... terrified.

With Shiro, on the other hand, my mood went from scared to angry. I couldn't believe him. He'd tasted money and the admiration of the upper class and now he was starving for more. He didn't understand- I'd been force-fed that bullshit since I'd been in the womb- it ruined my parents and it would ruin him too if he didn't change.

I had to make amends with the performers, with Shiro, with Lance. It was up to me. I felt my eyes draw to the stage, where Lance was performing with the others. He looked up and our eyes met. Those cold blue eyes bore into mine as he mouthed, "This is me." He was dazzling and terrifying and I didn't know how to help, what to do...

...

"Why can't you just put more shows in New York? Why do you have to tour the country?" I asked incredulously. Shiro was gazing admiringly at the huge print of Curtis on his desk, the words 'Heart of an Angel, Voice of a Nightengale' scrawled neatly below his tanned face.

We were upstairs, above the circus ring, Shiro just having told me his plans to tour the world with Curtis on a new mission to gain the hearts of the rich everywhere (he didn't actually say that aloud, but his eyes deceived his intentions). 

"Why did Napoleon march on Russia?" Shiro asked in return, grinning as he packed his briefcase. 

I scoffed. "Napoleon was defeated."

Shiro patted my shoulder and said in a sing-song voice, "Napoleon didn't have a 60-piece orchestra."

My jaw dropped. "A 60-piece orchestra? Shiro, even you, the most masterful deception artist I've ever known, cannot convince 60 trained and professional musicians to perform pro bono."

Shiro swatted away my accusations like a fly as he walked out the door. "Just get the cheapest you can find." He handed me a piece of paper and I recognized it as a compendium of what he'd requested for Curtis' performances. 

"Custom sets... fireworks inside theaters? Shiro, that's never going to fly with any person who values their establishment. The curators of these theaters- the most famous theaters in the world, may I remind you, value these places over their own lives."

Shiro grinned at me devilishly. "You said it yourself- I'm the world's greatest deception artist."

"To millionaires? They could buy the circus with pocket change!"

"Let them try!" Shiro chortled as we walked downstairs. 

"Shiro, you're in serious debt here! You're not going to see a penny of profit until your... fortieth show!"

"Forty-first, actually," Shiro corrected. My eyes nearly popped from their sockets. I grabbed his arm to make him face me. 

"You're risking everything you built here, Takashi."

Shiro's eyes went cold for a moment at my use of his full name. But within a heartbeat, they were back to that happy-go-lucky twinkle and he said, "This circus was built on a risk. It can grow from one too."

He turned away from me and nearly skipped down the steps. "Tell the performers that I expect them to give you every ounce of respect you deserve, Keith! I'll see you soon!" He jogged happily through the door without a backward glance. 

I stood on the landing of the staircase with my hat in my hands, a very large responsibility falling heavily on my conscience. 

"Ain't that a sight for sore eyes, sir," I heard a voice below. I looked over the banister to see Hunk lacing his shoes. He smiled half-heartedly up at me. Beside him sat Pidge, Allura, and Acxa, lounging backstage before their performance tonight. 

"He didn't even say hello to us," Pidge muttered, fidgeting with a small automaton's mechanics. 

"Or goodbye," I added, flicking the papers Shiro'd given to me for the tour's plans. "He's going on tour with Curtis." 

"Oh, pull yourself together, Kogane. Don't you have somewhere to be?" Acxa prompted me. We'd grown closer, her and I- we found ourselves having similar interests (and a similar growing disinterest with the riches and wealth that Shiro was set on chasing) and I'd begun to view her as a sort of little-sister figure. 

I suddenly remembered what she was prompting me to, though, and checked my watch to confirm the time before bolting downstairs. I made a point to shout "Goodbye!" as I exited the building.