Letting Him Go

"There's Nothing To Save"

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"Hey can we talk?"

I slowly looked up from my phone to see Luke standing before me. Quickly shutting my phone off, I stood up and grabbed my bag.

"No."

I walked straight out the doors without giving him a chance to say anything in return but somehow he caught up. He placed a hand on my shoulder, forcing me to stop and look at him.

"Wait wait. What do you mean no?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, as in no we can't talk. Do you not understand what no means?"

"Don't be like that."

I stayed silent as I watched him with calculating eyes.

"What do you want?" I asked, drawing away from him.

"To talk."

"We're talking now."

"No. I mean really talk." he stressed the word 'really' as he raised his eyebrows slightly.

"Ok so talk."

His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he placed one hand on the back of his neck. He glanced up at me awkwardly before looking back down again.

"Are you gonna say something or...."

"It's just...um.. wow I never expected to get this far"

"I'm leaving." I turned to leave but he maneuvered around me so I couldn't.

"Don't. Don't leave ok."

A harsh laugh sprang from my lips. "don't leave? just like you didn't right."

Hurt swamped his features and I could feel my heart breaking in that single moment.

"That was a mistake."

"So were we, but it happened."

I could tell that hit a few heart strings but I couldn't stop. I wanted to scream at myself for messing up another opportunity to fix things with him but I couldn't do that either. I just watched as the scene unfolded before me.

"Y-you don't mean that." tears had welled up in his eyes.

My voice sounded foreign to my own ears as I answered with, "Yes I do." before turning heel and leaving the broken hearted boy to cry alone.

"Wait Belly."

I froze after he said that. He hadn't called me that since the day I left him and to say that it didn't startle me just now would be a lie. I felt his hand wrap around my elbow.

"Don't leave please don't."

I didn't respond as he pulled me into his chest for a bone crushing hug. I felt hollow inside as he hugged me and that disturbed me deeply. It was like I was in a trance of some kind.

"We can fix this. We can save us."

Those words snapped me out of dreamland and brought me back into reality.

I pushed off of him harshly as I glared at him. "But there's nothing to save."