Beautiful Mess (Book I)

Chapter twenty-three

"Bad habit I know, but I'm needing you right now."

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•Rae•

One of the hardest things you could do is say goodbye to someone who means so much to you. Standing there in front of him and telling him I wished him a happy life, it was incredibly hard for me. Smiling and waving knowing I won't see him again, it was so painful.

But part of me knows that I'm being selfish. I shouldn't have pretended to be happy for him. I should've really been happy for him.

When you first get close someone, you never think that they would someday, somehow, be so important to you. And when you think back to your very first conversation... you wonder how it all came to this. How did that person manage to find their way into your heart and take up all of the space. When and how did you give them the power to always be on your mind, constantly fill your thoughts and make you miserable whenever they're not around. And at the end you'll come up with no reasonable explanation. That's just how it works.

As much as I want to not get hurt by losing him like this, I don't think I would change anything if I could turn back time. Because I'm glad that he was in my life at some point and made it a million times better.

*    *    *

I look past Shelley and glance at the clock hanging on the wall. Five minutes have passed, and yet it seems like hours to me. I can't even concentrate on anything that's being said.

Focus, Rae. You still have a lot to fight for. I keep reminding myself but it's useless. My mind keeps drifting to Kyle. Where he is, what he's doing, how he's feeling...

A sudden knock on the door pulls me out of my thoughts. Shelley stands up to open it.

"Kyle?!" I hear Star exclaim a second later.

I immediately look up, and there he is standing in front of Shelley. A man dressed in a gray suit is standing next to him.

Is this a dream?

His eyes drift to me and I'm too shocked to even react. As I keep staring at him, Shelley closes the door behind her to talk to him in private.

Keeping my gaze locked on the door, I blink a few times. Is this real?

"That was Kyle, wasn't it?" Star asks, glancing at us.

"Yeah, it was," Megan mumbles with a confused look.

"What's going on?" Oliver raises his brows. "He should've been long gone by now."

Before I can recover from the state of shock I'm in, the door opens again and Shelley steps in followed by Kyle. I keep my eyes on him as he walks over and takes the empty seat next to me.

"I know you're all surprised to see him back," Shelley says, and I slowly turn my head towards her. "But we have decided to make him stay a bit longer. He's not ready yet."

"What? Why?" Star asks.

Shelley glances at Kyle. "They gave him another test and he couldn't pass it."

"But that doesn't make sense. We already took the test!" Oliver exclaims.

"But what about May?" Star asks.

"She did well on that too so she was released immediately," Shelley says.

Our eyes meet as I glance at Kyle. "What happened?" I ask in a whisper.

He shakes his head carelessly. "Don't worry about it. They'll give us another chance soon and we'll both pass next time."

I try to read his expression but I can't see a hint of sadness in his eyes. He doesn't look disappointed at all.