Hey, Ryan here. Sorry it's been so long since I've written. I'm in a bad spot right now. The other day at school, some kids kicked my ass. It was the girls of course. They ended up breaking my nose. Im currently in a mental hospital. I attempted suicide 2 days ago. Took 15 of my night meds. I was rushed to the hospital, and sadly, I survived. I'll be okay. I'm here for a few weeks, but luckily, they let me keep my book because it helps. I'm honestly going off the deep end right now. I broke up with Caleb. I feel horrible, but I needed to be honest. He said it was okay. That he forgives me and we can be friends. Joshua, Is worried sick about me. He's been writing to me a lot. We write every day. The letters are getting deep though. I still am finding indication that he may like me? I'm not sure. But I hope I end up with him in the future. It's funny though. Funny how all this time, he said he was straight. And when he came out as gay at school, everyone accepted him. But when I was found as trans, It's a big issue. I'm confused. But at least Joshua stuck by my side. I'm really grateful for him. I'm also going through stuff with a family member. Found out my pap has Leukemia. He isn't going to make it unless a miracle happens. It hurts a lot, to know that there isn't anything I can do, or could have done to save him. All we can do is pray. I'm missing Joshua so much right now. I need him. It sounds wierd. Saying I need someone. But I really do. I love him... So much. Hell, I would give my life for him. Anyway, they're serving dinner right now at the hospital. If I don't eat, they'll give me another shot. Don't ask what the shot is, I have no idea. Anyway, I gotta go. Don't worry though, I'll be back.
