The Bookworm

6. Saviour

(Just a warning, this one has some serious stuff in it)
(Why are all my stories like this?)
He took a deep breath. Why was he like this?
All Ryan wanted was a normal life. To other people, that's what he had. But could you really call it normal when he's awake, sitting on the bathroom floor, crying at 2 am, afraid to wake up his mother?
He reached for the toilet paper and started to wrap it around his arms. He pulled his pyjama sleeves over them. No-one could find out. His eyes started watering. It all started out with a graze. The main school bully had pushed him over, now that the whole school knew he was gay, and he felt it. The pain in his arm. He deserved it. He wanted more.
So he stole and broke pencil sharpeners. Comparing how sharp this one was from that one. Which one would cause the most damage, the most pain? Ryan wanted the pain, he needed the pain. It was all that kept him going.
Ryan kept sobbing quietly until he passed out.
~•~•~•~•~
Ryan woke up to the smell of eggs and bacon. He stumbled out of the bathroom, making sure to hide any form of blood that could give away his secret. His mother was there at the stove, smiling. He smiled back. It was a weak smile, but he could always blame it on being tired.
His mother wasn't a bad person. She was the best mother Ryan could have asked for. But she took things very personally. So, he always made sure to tell her first when he had news. If she knew he not only was gay but that he also felt a need to slice open his wrists, what would she do?
She would probably start crying, asking him where she went wrong. He didn't want to burden her with that.
"Sleep well, Ryan?" She had a sweet smile on her face, but her eyes were narrowed, scanning his red eyes. "Not really. I decided it was a good idea to watch a sad movie before bed..." Ryan told her the first excuse that came to mind. It was one that made sense, thank god, but she could still find a way to interrogate him.
"Ah, ok. I need a favour from you, is that ok?" Oh yeah, her other flaw. Her constant need for favours from him. She always assumes he's fine enough for whatever she needs. The only time he said 'no', she had a breakdown, talking about how she needed him to cook dinner so that she could have a good time with her friends. Ryan was 13 when that happened.
"What is it, Mum?" He tried to be as polite as possible. She smiled. "Bianca has invited us all to spa days, and the house really needs cleaning, could you do that for me? Please?" He closed his eyes and nodded. But he knew that the house wasn't going to be clean. He was actually grateful for his Mum going out today. It would make his plan much smoother. Ryan's mother gave him a kiss on the cheek and left.
Ryan sighed and gathered what he needed.
Just sharp knives
•~•~•~•~•~•
He sat on the bathroom floor.
He had the knives.
He had nothing else to do.
He picked up the first and started to drive it into his stomach.
His phone started ringing. It was from Max. His last friend. His crush.
Max, the single person who technically ruined his social life, but he couldn't be to blame.
It was all Ryan's fault for falling for him.
He answered the call.
"Hey, Max." His voice was weak. He tried to cover it, but he was too tired.
"Hey, Ryan. Are you busy? I wanted to hang out today." Ryan laughed. Max lived an hour away, and even if he didn't, and Ryan wasn't going to end it all, he still had to clean the house.
"Nah, I have chores. Maybe some other time?" He was lying. There wouldn't be some other time.
"Oh.. Ok. Once you're finished then?" Max sounded hopeful. "Yeah, maybe," Ryan answered with a tired sigh.
•~•~•~•
Just two more to go. Just two more to go.
There was a pool of blood surrounding Ryan. He had stabbed himself too many times to count. He had pulled all the knives out, except two.
One in his neck, and one that had been dragged down his forearm.
"Ryan? Are you home?" Max was here. Why? He wasn't supposed to be here this early. He stayed silent. Maybe Max would think he left.
"Ryan? Oh please, please, please don't be naked, please don't be naked..." His voice was right outside the door.
The door slowly creaked open, and Max saw what happened to his friend. He almost screamed. He pulled out his phone and call an ambulance. When they got there, he was almost dead.
•~•~•~•~•
Ryan woke up to beeping. He looked around. He felt something heavy on his right arm. His arm was bandaged up, and Max was there. His eyes were red and puffy, he'd been crying a lot.
He was asleep, cradling his arm.
Ryan smiled as he saw his crush like that, and only a single thought went through his mind.
My Saviour...
(Should I do a sequel?)

(My goodness this had so many spelling and grammar mistakes... Just fixed them!)