The Problems With Being Gay At 13

Ch.22 -The Moment Of Truth Part 3-

December 31st, 2012

The Last Day of 2012, huh? I didn’t expect it to come so quickly like this. So many things have changed this year. Demetrius and Ariel moved across the street, they became my friends; I had my first kiss, I came out of the closet, Finn became my friend, I had my first date, and now everything is...different. The thought of coming so close to my year goal is frightening. I mean, what if things are different? Well, I know things are gonna be different because my “friends” are no longer by my side, people are probably gonna bully me, and I’ve just come out of the closet. I know things are going to be different but in what sense? School life. Definitely. Home Life. No. Friendships. Maybe.  I don’t even know why I’m so worried about telling Demetrius that I’m gay. He’s gay too so he would be okay with it, right? But I’m still kind of worried. Like, butterflies in my stomach. It wouldn’t be a big problem blown out of proportion if I was a normal guy; but I’m not because I suck eggs. Maybe I’m just nervous about telling him last. He might already know for all I know…those douches who used to be my friends might’ve told everyone in town or Mom…That’s not the point. Basically everyone who currently is in my life knows I’m gay…except Demetrius. This shit is so weird I can’t even describe it. After watching Doctor Who until fucking like 6’oclock in the morning I’m all screwed up. I don’t think I can make it to the New Year’s Eve party the Henderson’s are so kindly having. This whole situation is so unreal. Like, why the hell is this happening to me? Why am I even making this into a big deal? Why am I even gay if I have to go through all of this shit to be accepted and feel comfortable in my own skin? Why can’t the world just be joy ride instead of so hard? I mean I know life isn’t fair but why is this pressure of me? This shouldn’t happen to people like me. Why is it only hard for us? Why can’t the world just accept us without all of this bullshit? God…I’m really overthinking this whole situation. I think I’ll tell Demetrius during the New Year’s Eve party so at least I can calm down a little before taking this big friggin step that shouldn’t be this big step.

9:00

Oh jeez! I’m hyperventilating! I made it to the party but I’m not sure I’m feeling any better. The feeling of butterflies in my stomach is still there and going strong. I’m hiding in Ariel’s closet…OH THE IRONY! I refuse to come out until I’m at least calm and comfortable about this.

10:49

I have to hurry up before 12 hits!

10:50

Forgot to mention that I feel like I’m about to throw up!

11:58

I’ve done it! I did it! I told Demetrius!  Even if I did kind of throw up before telling him. Even if Ariel did force me out of the closet. I did it! I can’t believe I fucking did it with only about 2 minutes left until the New Year. It felt like a dream when I did it. So, this is what happened. After Ariel had notified me I didn’t have much time to just sit my ass in her closet all night because if I didn’t complete my goal right now she would kick my ass. So I sucked up and went to Demetrius…

I walked downstairs in search of Demetrius; music was playing and everyone looked like they were having a good time. Except me. The feeling of butterflies in my stomach was still strong and I was beginning to feel queasy but I didn’t stop searching. I was determined to find Demetrius with only 10 minutes until the New Year. I could do this! I spotted Demetrius outside sitting on the grass; someone grabbed me. I turned around to see who pulled me. None other than Grandma Henderson herself. I smiled, she grinned back giving me a big bear hug back. She’s really strong for a woman in her 80’s.

“GRANDMA HENDERSON! You’re crushing me….” I gasped for air. She let go of me still grinning g. “I didn’t know you were gonna be here.”