His Deadly Addiction

[5.] Self-introspection

Samantha's P.O.V

Walking out of the building and into the streets of New York I am greeted by a handsome looking Liam leaning on a sleek black Audi SUV and I must I have never been turned on by a car but this one dear Lord was making the waterfalls of the goddess within run like the river Jordan.

"Done gawking princess?"

Damn it!

"I wasn't even. Plus, there's nothing to see if you ask me." I shrug and walk past him and reach for the door which he rushes and opens it for me.

"You wound me princess." He playfully touches his chest and goes jumps in on the driver's side and drives off.

Watching Liam calmly drive through the city as Martin Garrix ft. Dua Lipa 'scared to be lonely' plays softly in the background I reach for his hand and our fingers intertwine.

It felt so right. Driving with Liam felt like home. He gave me a warm feeling  in the depth of my soul that made everything make so much sense whenever I was with him.

Despite the fights and him leaving it feels like the fire between us woild burn so much it would hurt the both of us and push us away from each other but never enough for either of us to walk away for good. It's like an elastic cord was attached to our hearts that would pull us right back each time we drifted apart.

"So where exactly are you taking me?" I reach for the radio to dial down the volume.

"Home." He takes my hand and kisses it before putting our intertwined hands back on his lap.

"Uh... It's your home not mine." I say in a 'duh' tone.

"Well I was hoping that you'd move in with me. I mean we do own an apartment together so it really isn't much of a big deal."

"It is Liam. I'd be living in your house." It's not the same.

Isn't it?

"Why are you so stubborn princess?" Liam chuckles and I am left in a frenzy as I see his perfect pearly white teeth.

"I don't think it is a great idea actually for us to leave together.... for now." I stated as I slowly moved my hand away from his.

"Why do you say so?" His eyebrows knotted in confusion.

"You and have unbelievable feelings for each other no doubt about that we have so many unresolved issues tha-"

"What do you mean unresolved issues?" He pulled over as he turned the car off to look at me.

Yup! It's a fight now.

"Liam we keep bouncing back and forth. You leave me and come back each time and it's like nothing happened and we pick up right where we left off and God knows that's not how relationships work." I blurted out. Finally being honest about my feelings.

"Then how do they work? Because I sure as hell know that you cant keep having rendezvous with an ex if you claim you are in love with someone else." The emotions in his eyes suddenly changed from anger to regret from realising just what he had said.

"Rendezvous? What are you implying?" I narrowed my eyes at him as I felt my blood boil from the words he just threw in my face.

"I'm sorry. It's nothing... I honestly don't know what came on to me I just-" he reached out to touch me and I flinched away like his touch was hot acid.

"No you know exactly what you meant by that. So what you're saying is while I was with you I would be what? Fucking Alex? Is that it?" I yelled at him.

"Sam-"

"No! Don't you fucking dare! I spent nights crying over you! Remember you left me. Not me. You! And not once not fucking once did I do anything with anyone. Anyone! And those 'rendezvous' you are talking about. One word! Work! And I'm sorry things had to turn out the way they did but they did. I work for Alex so yes I'll see him. For God sakes he owns the damn building! I wish I never had a thing with him but and I did and can't change it. It's just the way it is Liam." I pinched the bridge of my  nose beyond exasperated.

"I'm really sorry." He inched closer to me and I held my hands up telling him to give me some space. I could see the hurt sketched on his face but I didn't want to deal with that right now.

"Please take me home. I think I just want to be alone right now. You were right by the way." I said after he started driving back to the city.

"I need to figure out what I want and for me to be able to do that I need to be alone." I quickly tucked hair tendrils behind my ear and looked at him as he gripped the steering wheel tighter turning his knuckles white.

"Okay."

I don't know if I was hoping that he would put up a fight or anything actually but the fact that all he mastered out was 'okay' just broke me inside.

Maybe I am overthinking all of this. I did just call things off with him barely 24 hours after we got back together but this is what I need and my well being comes first.

"Can I walk you up?" Liam asked after he had parked his car outside my building.

"Uh... I don't think that's a good idea." I stepped out of the car and so did Liam running towards my side of the car.

"Samantha I need you to know that I really am sorry for what I said. I truly am. And for being so cold a second ago. I just... I just can't fathom the possibility that you might never come back to me so I didn't want to you know come off clingy. Look... I don't know really but I know this. I love you with every bit of me and if space is what you need then that's what I'll give you."