Spark (Kookmin)

1

Mentions of panic attacks.

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Jimin woke up to the sound of his alarm clock, it was 8 am and time for work. But Jimin hadn't slept all night. He just lay there awake and alone. He felt void of any emotions. He felt empty and useless most of the day.

Jimin always felt like his heart hurt. Like he was just nowhere in life. That there was something missing. Maybe a spark? He didn't know. His life was dull and boring.

Jimin had left Busan after his parents suffered major financial crisis. Jimin was very bright and decided to move to Seoul for work and he did very well for himself. He was one the most eligible bachelors of Korea.

Jimin's love life was next to non existent. He felt nothing towards anyone. He didn't feel anything and that scared him.

But what he did feel was emptiness. Loneliness. Fear. And heartbreak. He could feel himself breaking down every second but he was used to the feeling. That's how he had been for years.

He got ready for work and drove. He was the head of the music department at Bighit. He was in charge of all the vocals and final edits of songs produced in the company.

"Hey, Jimin." said the handsome young man in front of him. Jimin sighed and forced a smile.
"Hi, Taehyung." Jimin said curtly. Taehyung was always very sweet to him but he just didn't want the attention. Jimin barely cared.

Taehyung bit his lip hearing the reply. It hurt him. He really really liked Jimin. He saw his broken heart but didn't know him enough to ask and Jimin never gave him a chance. He sighed and left.

The day proceeded and Jimin just kept working. His head buzzed and everything seemed out of focus. He could feel that sinking feeling hit again.

The feeling where his heart raced and his head felt fuzzy. He felt shaky and jittery. His hands began shaking and he felt like he was going to collapse.

It was almost 7 so he decided to leave.
"Bye, Jim--"
"Bye." Jimin said to Taehyung and stormed off. Jimin drove somehow with his vision getting almost blurry occasionally. Lucky for him, he lived close by.

Jimin reached his apartment complex and got into the elevator. He lived in the penthouse. He was getting sweaty now and he opened a button of his shirt, he was gasping. He flung open the door and crashed on the couch. He felt himself getting desperate for air. He felt so out of control.

He had no one to go to. No one to call. No friends and no family. And maybe it was himself he had to blame.

Jimin went to the terrace of the building and began breathing. He looked down at the darkness, he saw nothing but dark. He screamed and cried out.
"Why..." He whispered to himself as he cried harder. He leaned further and cried.

Jimin sat on the concrete. He stared out into the city. He wasn't suicidal. But he felt empty. He wasn't doing what he wanted to. Nothing was in his control and his life was falling apart even though to the world it would seem like he would be the happiest 26 year old ever. He wasn't.

Jimin clutched his chest and sobbed hard. Not caring if he'd fall or not. Who'd care? He felt.

"Hey.." Jimin heard behind him. It was a tall young boy with big doe eyes staring at him, terrified.
"Please step back." The young man said with his hands extending to him as he took small steps towards him.

"Oh don't worry. I won't jump. I don't have the courage to." Jimin laughed and then cried harder.
"Hey... It's okay. I'm here. I'll help you." the young boy said walking closer. He slowly held Jimin's hand as he sat too.

"It's okay. It's okay." he said softly as Jimin cried.
"No it's not. I'm going to die like this. Unnoticed. Uncared for. Just me." He cried.
"No, you won't. You just have to ask someone to save you." the young man smiled.

"Save me? I'm fine." he laughed sadly.
"Aren't I? I'm one of the most successful 26 year olds, I should have no problems hooking up and yet I'm the loneliest person ever...." Jimin let out a sad laugh and cried again.

"I need help. I need someone. Anyone." Jimin cried harder and rested his head on the young man's shoulder as he  began feeling dizzy.
" I'll save you. " Said the young man softly, picking him up bridal style.