"I'll wait for you as long as it takes. Even if it's a lifetime."
~*~
"Lucio, we're having dinner at La Cordonnerie. Do you mind if you join us?" I said over the telephone the moment he picked it up. Kinagat ko ang labi ko, umaasa na sasama siya.
"Absolutely not. I'd love that."
God, his gentle voice is perfect.
"Great! We'll see you at seven."
"See you, and I love you."
"Je t'aime aussi." I love you too.
More than anything. Napangiti ako. Binaba ko ang telepono at huminga ng malalim.
Umupo ako sa sofa. I relaxed my back and looked at the ceiling.
I sighed once more. I have no idea how to tell him without hurting his feelings and mine.
It's been one year and a month since Lucio and I confessed each other's feelings at the Musée d'Orsay. I was in shock when my parents allowed me to date him. Hula ko dahil ito kilala na talaga nila maman at papa si Lucio.
Akala ko magiging normal lang ang takbo ng relasyon namin. I was hoping that we'd be that couple na makakaranas lang ng maliliit na conflicts.
But it turns out that I'm leaving Lucio. Permanently.
My maman may love Paris so much but she is this type of person who always wants to go back to where her comfort zone is- and that's the Philippines.
Kagabi lang ay napagdesisyonan ni maman na bumalik na muli sa Pilipinas. Napanganga lang ako. Bakit biglaan yata? Ni hindi man lang nila ako kinausap. To think, my boyfriend lives here? Hindi ba nila naisip na iiwan ko ang boyfriend ko rito sa Paris?
I did try talking to maman and she only told me that I should not take Lucio and I's relationship seriously because I'm still young. She also told me that when you truly love someone, distance should not matter at all.
Totoo, distance shouldn't matter pero hindi iyan gagana sa akin. Naiintindihan ko na may ibang tao na kaya nila kahit malayo sila sa kanilang minamahal, okay, that's cool, you're great, keep doing you but not me. I have my own language of love and alam ko, for sure, na ako yung tipo na clingy. I crave for physical touch! That's my love language. Especially with Lucio! God! This would sound like I'm overreacting but- I would die just by not being with him.
At hindi ko kayang sabihin lahat ng iyan kay maman dahil wala akong lakas ng loob. Mahal ko ang mga magulang ko and the last thing I would do is to disobey them. What's worst is, my maman is right. I'm too young to be in a serious relationship. I'm not yet done studying. I couldn't even afford my own car! My papa was the one who bought it for me.
So now, I decided to go with the flow of what's supposed to happen. I'm telling Lucio over dinner that I'll be staying at the Philippines permanently, and I would let him decided if he wants to be in a long distance relationship or just... break up with me.
"You look stunning, sweetheart." Kumurba pataas ang mga labi ko nang hilahin ako ni Lucio at hinalikan sa pisngi. The kiss made the restaurant cozier than it already was.
La Cordonnerie is an old charming restaurant with the original wooden fixtures. There were only two workers on this Friday night; one waiter and one chef, which we could see cooking in the open kitchen as we waited for the food.
"And you look charming." I rested my hand on his chest as I embraced him on his side. He always looks charming.
Nginitian kami ni maman. "Lucio," tawag niya dito at uminom muna siya ng champagne bago tapusin ang sasabihin niya, "you're almost 21 and you're graduating soon, what are your plans? Will you be the one continuing your mother's luxury goods business?"
