Heart Shaped Lies

Chapter Two

Hannah 's eyes fluttered open. She felt groggy and confused as she looked around. Her eyes finally fell on Sawyer and her parents, conversing softly across the room. They seemed unaware that she was awake, so Hannah  took the opportunity to study Sawyer's profile, taken aback by the tears that streaked his cheeks. She had never seen him cry before, and she quickly looked away, taking in her surroundings. She was in her room at home, in bed. Photos of herself and Sawyer, of her parents, and posters hung on the bright yellow walls. The man that had been her father for over half her life now had painted these walls for her as soon as he found out that it was her favorite color. When she first came to them, she was plagued by nightmares, and her screams would often bring him running to her room in the middle of the night. He would flip on the lights and hold her, rocking her back and forth until she regained composure. Then he would tuck her in and remind her that she was safe, and that nothing could hurt her in a room made of sunshine, and she would drift back to sleep feeling warm and safe, protected by a barrier of yellow paint. For many years, she had felt almost invincible within this house, inside these walls.
Her eyes flicked back to Sawyer, and it was then that she noticed the newspaper he gripped in his fist. The confusion melted away as the memory of the afternoon washed over her. An uncontrollable sob tore past her lips, and she was instantly surrounded, three anxious faces hovering over her. Hannah  sat up in bed and buried her face in her hands. 
"It's okay, Hannah . You're okay," her mother said softly, stroking Hannah 's hair.
"You're safe now, honey," her father soothed, pulling her hands away from her face and squeezing them reassuringly.
Sawyer was the only one who didn't speak, his expression grim, worried, and...angry? Hannah 's heart contracted in fear. This is what she had been afraid of if he ever found out about her, about who she really was. She couldn't lose Sawyer. She needed him.
"Mom, Dad?" Hannah  swallowed hard. She remembered when she had first come to them as a withdrawn and traumatized foster child, and how wonderful they had been, never pushing her to call them her mom and dad, even when they officially adopted her. But after they had asked if she would like to make their home a permanent placement, she had begun trying to, but calling them mom and dad had left a bitter taste on her tongue. As years passed, the words flowed easily, as natural as breathing. They were a family. "Could you give us a minute, please?"
Her mother opened her mouth to speak, but her father placed a hand gently on his wife's shoulder and guided her from the room without a word. When they were gone, Hannah  glanced worriedly at Sawyer and cleared her throat, trying to think of what to say. Finally, when she realized he wasn't going to speak first, she asked the only question she could think of.
"Are you mad at me?"
"No," he said, but he wouldn't look at her, and that scared her more than anything else.
"Sawyer, I-"
"How could you keep something like this from me?  Did you think I would laugh at you? Judge you? That I wouldn't love you? What?"
Sawyer's face was flushed, his voice trembling. His chestnut brown eyes shimmered with unshed tears, flashing with hurt and betrayal. Hannah  struggled to find her voice.
"I...I..."
Suddenly the words flowed without hesitation, spilling out of her along with her tears. 
"I didn't want anyone to know, especially you!  Do you honestly think you would've wanted to be with me if you had known? If you had realized what I had come from and how screwed up I am? Because I am, Sawyer! Screwed up! Damaged! I just...I love you and I couldn't... I couldn't say it out loud. Not to you. I didn't want you to look at me the way you are looking at me now." Hannah  couldn't go on as what had begun as simple crying turned into heartbroken weeping.
Sawyer's eyes softened, and he exhaled a shaky breath, raking a hand through his tousled blonde hair. He climbed into the bed beside her, taking her into his arms.
"Hannah , no." His voice was pleading as he took her face in his hands and wiped her tears with his fingertips. "I don't care about any of that. You are you, no matter what happened. To me, you are perfect. You are Hannah  Miller, and that's who I fell in love with. Nothing can change that. I just...I didn't know how to help you today. You looked so scared, and you passed out, and I didn't know what to do because I didn't understand until I got you here and your dad told me after I showed him the paper. I understand now. I'm sorry."
"You don't understand!" she wailed. "If they don't catch him, it's too dangerous to be with me! He's coming after me, and he's going to kill anybody in his way! He's not going to stop until he finds me. That's why he escaped!"
Hannah  wouldn't have blamed Sawyer if he had simply gotten up and walked away without looking back. But she couldn't deny the overwhelming feeling of relief that swept through her when she felt his arms tighten protectively around her.
"I'm never going to let anyone hurt you. Don't you know that? I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere," he said softly, pressing his lips against her temple.
They stayed that way for a long time, clinging to each other, until Hannah 's grip loosened and Sawyer realized she had cried herself into exhaustion, falling asleep in his arms. He eased her back onto the pillow and lay beside her. The last light of the day was fading away, soon plunging darkness into the room made of sunlight as Sawyer held Hannah 's sleeping frame against him. He had meant what he said. If these walls couldn't protect her anymore, he sure as hell would.