𝔩𝔞𝔳𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯 𝔩𝔬𝔩𝔩𝔦𝔭𝔬𝔭𝔰 (𝔰𝔥𝔲𝔮𝔦) ✓

nostalgia

five

shuhua's pov

that night, sitting on my balcony while sipping an iced latte, i try to organize my thoughts. why am i so afraid of confronting yuqi? it's not like her rejecting me would be the end of the world or anything.

wait.

peony. oh my god, i'm actually dumb. of course! the reason was there all along, practically dangling in front of my face, and i was too oblivious to realize.

peony was my best friend from elementary to high school, and the sweetest girl ever. she would buy little gifts for everybody in our class, and had a smile that could brighten anybody's day. all the teachers loved her, and for good reason. she was always polite, always handed in assignments on time, was always willing to help people with their studies.

the thing that nobody knew, however, was that she was being abused at home.

her dad would slap her, yell at her, practically use her as a punching bag. nobody noticed how that stunning smile was forced, how she always wore long sleeves, or the sadness hidden behind her hazel eyes.

not even me.

when they found her, she was already dead. a bottle of painkillers was knocked over next to her, her body slumped over the bathroom sink. i cried for days. i cried until i threw up, until i couldn't breathe, until i was so exhausted all i could do was sleep.

she passed away junior year, with her whole life ahead of her.

a ray of sunshine, dashed through by a flash of lightning. nobody thought she needed help. she was so good at acting like everything was alright, that nobody questioned it until it was too late.

i taste salt on my lips, and glance at my reflection in the balcony door to see tears rolling down my face. pulling the sleeves of my hoodie over my hands, i wipe my cheeks and pull my legs into my chest, hugging them as i stare up into the night sky.

everything makes sense now. i'm not afraid that yuqi will reject me, i'm afraid that she'll leave forever, and never come back. i know her history. i know that she's hurt before, that she's battling her own demons.

but this time, i'm not so clueless.

this time, i won't lose her. i will do whatever it takes to protect her. and if i have to, i'll stay by her side forever.

i will not let history repeat itself.