Teach Me To Love Again (Jalex)

End Of Me

“I'm never happy like we were happy, I'm never sad like we were sad. You'll be the end of me.” (A Day To Remember – End of Me)

Alex P.O.V. (duh...)

“You know, I miss you, right? It happened almost half of a year ago and still.. I can't keep my promise, Jack. I can't move on. You saved my life and I? I was too weak to save yours. If I hadn't been so weak that day... You wouldn't be here. We could be married right now.”, I whispered, looking down at my hands.

“And I can't be happy like you wanted me to. I mean, I try, I really do, but it is so hard without you... Zack and Rian aren't what they used to be either. You took such a big part of me and nobody but you could fix this... The only good thing that happened is that Rian found the guts to propose to Cass. Maybe he realized life is shorter than you think.. They seem to be so happy... We could be like them to..”

Again the tears began to flow down my cheeks. I was used to it now, I was crying at the silliest things. It got better with the time passing, luckily. The first weeks were the worst in my life. I've never felt more miserable, not even as I went away to think about everything. My Mom forced me to move in again, so she could have an eye on me. I was somehow glad because at home everything reminded me of Jack and I couldn't live in constant thought of him. Rian brought me my acoustic guitar but it still stands where I put it the day he brought it. I only played with Jack's purple guitar, hoping it would somehow bring him back. It didn't obviously.

“And you don't even know what's the worst thing. I can't even be sad any more, I just feel... Nothing. It's like you've taken everything I was with you and I won't ever get it back. I don't know how much longer I can take this, Jacky.. I need you back..”, I choked out. Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder and I began to shake. Since the accident I hated being touched, I didn't even let my Mom touch me. If somebody was allowed to do so, it would be Jack and nobody else.

“How long have you been here already, Alex? It has no use, he won't hear you and it won't make it easier for any of us. You need to move on, he wanted you to.”, I heard Rian say quietly. Of course, he was the only one still trying to get me to move on. Every other person in my life somehow accepted that I wasn't able to move on, not now and probably not even in the future.

“He will wake up... He promised me to stay by my side, no matter how hard it will get.. He will open his eyes again and I will wait for him. Nobody can tear us apart, not even fate.”, I muttered stubbornly and stroked over Jack's cheek.

He didn't die that day, he just fell into a coma. Thankfully. But he was so close to never opening his eyes again... I almost lost him and that would have been the end of me. He could make me truly happy and truly sad.

And the worst? I could see him, touch him but he wasn't truly there. He looked like he would wake up the next second and make on of his silly jokes. Right now I would give everything to hear him joking once more.

I tried to watch some of our old interviews but I couldn't. Whenever I saw him, I had broken down. I wanted to hear his voice so badly, but his real voice, not the one in a video. I wanted to hear his husky voice in the morning, his worried one when he saw me sad. I wanted to hear his laugh. And that was probably the feature I missed the most. His incredible, unique laugh.

“Alex, I know it must be really really hard for you... But you can't just stay here grieving. He won't wake up, the chance is too small. You will die if you stay like this. And you know, it makes us sad to see you like this.. We miss you, Alex.”, he sighed and shortly after that I heard the door open and close again. Thankfully he went away, I couldn't stand any company.

“Did you hear him? Of course you will wake up... You would never leave me, not even if you were forced to. Would you? No, no, no, I shouldn't let this get to my head, he's just messing around!” I pressed my hands against my temples and squinted my eyes. Suddenly I got a very bad headache. I should really be used to it by now but I just couldn't be. The pain was too strong and I was too proud to tell anyone.

“I love you, Jack. I don't know really much right now, it's like you've taken all my knowledge with you... But I know one thing: When you don't come back, and I hope you do, you promised, it will be the end of me. You are the end of me.”

__________________________________________________________________

I'm back guys!

This is the sequel to my previous story called How To Save A Life.

I couldn't let Jack die, could I? I mean, I love him so much and he is Alex's Jack! So I can't let him die, would be really mean ^__^

Hope you guys all enjoy this sequel, I won't update regularly but you will probably already know that. No regular updates, but I try to update as often as possible!

Lots of love and stay awesome ^__^