Teach Me To Love Again (Jalex)

Caraphernelia

I know I'm mean for making you wait for so long. Explanation after this chapter, enjoy it :)

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“So, what if I can't forget you? I'll burn your name into my throat, I'll be the fire that'll catch you.
What's so good about picking up the pieces? What if I don't even want to? “ (Pierce The Veil – Caraphernelia)

Alex P.O.V.

“I can't forget you! I tried, I really did! But I can't forget the only one who made me feel important and loved and didn't leave me, no matter how hard I was to get along with! You made me feel special! I love you! I can't forget my first love, Jack!”, I shouted angrily. The tears streamed down my face and my heart was shattered right inside my chest. “You're the first and the last person I love!”

“Then get the hell over it, Alex! I'm no good for you! Hell, look at you, you look like you died! Move on!”, he shouted back. “I kill you, I'm no good for you! Find someone that makes you smile and laugh and actually helps you! Because I obviously can't!”

I looked at him and just couldn't hold it back any more. “You can make me smile! Did you forget all of these moments we shared?! All of the magic?! Do you really think you mean so few to me?! You saved me! And you are the only one who can make me happy! And I can't move on, I just can't! I've waited all these months for you and now I won't give up just because you tell me so!”

I stood up and looked at him. I've never seen him as angry as he was now but it wasn't the normal kind of angry. He wasn't angry at me either. He was angry at himself, he was angry on my stubbornness. He was angry that he made me look so miserable even though it wasn't his fault.

“I broke you, Alex! The past is in the past! I feel like I can't make you happy when you stay with me! Please, just do me a favour and go! I don't need you!”, he spat and clenched his fists. My eyes went wide and I began to shake. “P-p-please, tell me, y-you are k-kidding me” I whispered pleadingly and bit my bottom lip. If he was serious my world would fall apart. I can't live without him and that he didn't need me just showed me that I was useless in this world.

“I am serious, Alexander William Gaskarth! I, Jack Bassam Barakat, don't need you and by thinking about it, I hate you! So just go screw yourself!”, he shouted. I looked to the floor. “I'm sorry for making your life miserable.”, I whispered silently and looked at him one last time. I wanted to remember the love of my life and never forget him. I would never forget this fight, but it just showed me how fucked up I was, how I made everyone around myself miserable.

“Yes, you did make it miserable! And now go! I don't want to ever see you again!” Jack yelled while pointing to the door. “Just for your interest... I love you, no matter how much of a douche you are”, I whispered and walked out of the room and out of the hospital.

A few hours later I sat on my bed crying. I never felt this bad or cried so hard, not even as Jack almost died. Back then I thought everything was going to be alright, he would still love me when he woke up, we would go on like before.

I mean, this week started perfectly. Everything seemed to be mend, everything seemed to be good again. Oh, how wrong I was.