My fucking crazy life

{chapter 4}

The one in the striped is Bella and the one in the sweater is Rebekka
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The sounds of knifes and forks are clinging in my ears. we are sitting around the table. Me thinking about the party. Should i smoke? and what about the people there? Mom starts talking. “Were going to the cabin on friday” .
“Do i need to go?” i ask hopefully.
“yea you do and you can also bring a friend”. “Marcus, Emma and Martinus are taking a friend”
“no thanks i'm just going alone” i say and mom give me that glare. We just continue eating. I go from the table as soon as i can. “Thanks for dinner” i say and leave the table to go to the kitchen and place my plate.  “I'm gonna go to bed now goodnight” i say even tho its only 7.30 pm. They all give me weird looks. “What? i'm just tired i've been out in the rain fighting for my life” i say the last part sarcastic. I go up to my room and get ready for the party. Then i place myself under the covers. Now i need to wait until it's 10 pm then i can leave.

Its 10.20 pm and im finally leaving. Mom, dad and Emma are asleep but i think that Mac and Tinus still are awake so i need to be quiet. I open the window and carefully go out and onto the roof. I then close my window. Now i jump down, its kinda high but i'm good at landing. Then it needs to go quick cause somebody could have heard me and come out to check. Im lucky as always and it goes as planned.

I can hear the music pumping as i come closer. I walk up to the front door and step in. People are already drunk and dancing away to the music. I walk into the kitchen to grab a beer. As i said earlier i'm not gonna drink that much i also need to get home without getting heard, and that would be hard if your drunk. My body is making its way through talking people and on to the dance floor. I start dancing. People don't notice me cause people is drunk and driving their own party. I dance and try to get my mind off of my problems. The music is starting to get really loud and heavy in my head. I decide that it would be best if i take a break and go outside. I grab a beer on my way out. I turn it around and look at the procents, 1,4 not that bad. I'm still kinda sober after the one beer before so this isn't gonna hurt. Im leaning against the wall while the music is just backgrounds noise. Im taking little sips of my drink and just looking over trofors. It's dark so i can't really see that much. “Hey” a voice says as she stands besides me. “Want one?” she say as she holds out a cigarette. “Mhmh” i answer her as i still hasn't looked at her. She give me the cigarette and i take it in my hand. Now i'm giving her the first look. She's beautiful. She has short black dyed hair and big lips. Everything on her face is placed perfectly. I take the cigarette in my mouth as she lights it for me. “What are you doing out here?” she ask. “Just thinking” i answer her. “Yea me too”.
“How old are you? sorry i know i'm asking many questions i really need to stop sorry!” it comes from her.
“No no it's fine! really! i'm a 04´r you can figure the rest out”
“Me too guess i'm gonna go in the same year as you!”
“Really? cool when do you start?”
“Tuesday”. I nod to her as an answer. “You know you really shouldn't be drinking your only 14” she say as she points at my beer. “Well you shouldn't be smoking your only 14 as well! and actually i'm turning 15 next month!”
“Im 15 and your smoking too right now!”
“Haha how fun”
“Okay okay let's make a deal”
“Come with it”
“You stop drinking and i stop smoking?”
“Ok deal”
“Well let's go!” she says as she takes my wrist and runs away with me. She finds a garbage can and throw the cigarette out. I also throw my beer out, i'm gonna keep this deal! she keeps running and i'm running besides her. It's dark out and i don't know where we're going but i don't care. We stop at a playground and she hops on a swing and starts swinging. Were laughing and and talking. Forgetting everything. The time goes by. Its 3 in the morning and i'm sitting at a playground talking to a girl i just met. Then out of nowhere “You're hetero right?” she asks. I don't answer. Nobody knows im pan. I'm scared of what people will think. “Im lesbian” she answers happy. “Im pan but please dont tell anyone okay?” she nods. What is wrong with me? I just told the biggest secret to a person i just met! I don't even know if i can trust her. What if i come to school on monday and everyone know? ooooh i'm gonna be so screwed. “Uhm i have to uuuhm go now. see you”
“You're sure?” she ask i nod and walk away leaving her sitting on a swing.

Im almost at my house and its 3.40 am. I take a ladder and climb on the roof. Then i open the window and climb in and soon im laying in my bed. Im exhausted. It's been one of the best nights and then i had to ruin it for myself! i don't really think anymore cause i'm falling into to a deep sleep.

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I really hope you liked this! This chapter is personally my fave❤️  Also im gonna stop calling Marcus mac bc of the bassoradio interveiw where he said that he prefer Marcus so just so you know.
See youuu.