Evanesce ||GerAme||Angst & Fluff||

Feelings, What's That?

Alfred shifted in his seat as all of the nations presented their ideas. The meeting was going smoothly, which is a rare occurrence. The other nations, aside from Ludwig, didn't notice Alfred's unusually quiet demeanor. Many times he caught Ludwig glancing over at him with concern, but always quickly pretending like he wasn't looking as soon as Alfred caught him. Alfred continued to stare at the other nation, "Why is he staring at me? Why was he the only one to notice that there was something wrong?" He started to space out, his thoughts running wild. Did he like Ludwig? Yeah, of course, he did...as a friend? Maybe, just maybe more than a friend. No, even if he did, no one would ever want to be with someone like him. 

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't even realize that Arthur was trying to grab his attention. "Alfred Jones! I did not raise you to be like this! Damn, just pay attention, it's your turn to present anyway." Arthur huffed, throwing a pen at his head to pull him back into reality. Alfred just smiled, rubbing his head, "Heh, sorry about that Iggy! Thinking about the usual, you know? Hero stuff, and how I'm the best!"

"Don't call me that."

"Too bad."

Yao groaned from across, leaning back in his chair, "Come on, let's just get this over with. I don't even want to be here, much less hear Alfred's horrific ideas."

"Alright, that's enough!" Ludwig snapped, "Just let Alfred present and get his ideas out, everyone needs to go anyway.  And you-" He pointed over to Arthur and Yao, "Be respectful. Don't forget that he is a world superpower and can easily take you out with one word. I'd be careful if I were you." The two nodded, kind of confused on why Ludwig of all people defended Alfred. Ludwig turned to Alfred, "It's alright, you can go up now, I'd love to hear what you have today."

On the inside, Alfred was screaming, he wanted to run out of the building and off a bridge, but now was not the time to make a scene. He sighed and walked up to the podium, placing a few papers and folders down. Was Yao right? Probably, seeing that no one listened to him. Not even his boss would. Alfred wants to do what he can for not only his country but the whole world as well. 

He looked at the front of his folder with his assigned topic labeled on the front: Global Warming/Climate Change. Alfred didn't want to listen to his boss anymore, he wasn't going to do shit for the country, so Alfred might as well do it himself, even if no one is going to help him.

Throughout his presentation, all Alfred wanted to do was just curl up in a corner and die. He could feel the judgemental stares from the other nations. This was the only presentation he was passionate about putting together, and even with all of the facts and logic that he had, everyone seemed to find something wrong with it and tell him how stupid he was. Everyone except for Ludwig. He seemed so entranced by the words Alfred was speaking, taking in every single little detail. Ludwig, along with Feliciano, were the only nations that gave positive feedback and constructive criticism to him and his presentation. 

Alfred could feel his voice cracking slightly as he spoke the last few words of his topic. However, not letting his cracked mask fall, he smiled brightly and laughed as if there was no sadness or depression there at all. He felt so hollow, only a few more days. Just wait and then it will be over. Alfred scurried out of the meeting as his eyes welled up. Ludwig looked at him with concern before quietly excusing himself from the room as well to make sure that Alfred was okay.

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Alfred could hear footsteps behind him and began running to the nearest restroom, locking himself inside. He slumped against the door, sliding onto the floor, his hand shaking as he scratched at his arm aggressively. Tears ran down his sunkissed cheeks. Alfred continued to sob on the restroom floor, his breathing becoming rapid, causing the lightheadedness to feel overwhelmingly dizzy.

All that could be heard were the sounds of Alfred's cries until a few light knocks on the door shattered the sound of his cries.

"Alfred, are you doing alright?" Ludwig's voice was filled with concern and comfort.

He decided to open the door, just enough for Ludwig to see half of his face. "...No, I don't think I am." His eyes were red and puffy and his hair was a mess from running his hands through his hair to keep it out of his face. 

Ludwig's gaze softened, "May I enter?"

Alfred opened up the door a bit wider for the other to enter, "I guess..."

All he could think about Alfred was how miserable he sounded. This did make sense for all of his actions during the meetings. They seemed a bit odd, especially because it seemed as if the young nation was holding some sort of burden, a feeling that Ludwig had felt way too many times before.

Alfred closed the door behind Ludwig and sank back down to the floor.

"Alfred-" Ludwig sighed, "Do want to talk about it?"

Alfred wiped his nose with his sleeve, "You're the only one that listens to me anyway. I don't see why not."

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(A/N)

Hey y'all, sorry for not updating for a while. This summer has been really busy and crazy. I just got back from band camp last week and I'm going to go camping in an hour or so. I'm sorry if this chapter seems kind of rushed, but I just didn't really have much time to work on it in general. Other than that, I hope you all have a great day! :)

-V.Allistair