we're broken people. (Wattys 2019)

josh//

He hates me. Oh god, he hates me and ive said a total of like, 10 words to him. Why did you say that? You dont need to know and he doesnt want you to and now he hates you. Good job!

Tyler hesitated, "uh, youre my roommate so you're gonna find out when we have a babysitter tonight..." Babysitter? "I tried to kill myself this morning and it didnt work. Obviously. And now they dont trust me or anything which makes sense, i guess, but its not my fault, its blurryface's."

"Whos blurryface?"

Tyler pointed at his own head. "My demon. The voice in my head. He tells me bad things, lots of bad things. He's why i have depression and schizophrenia. He tells me to kill myself and he wont shut up until i try to."

"How many times have you tried?"

"About 9, but only one landed my in the hospital, excluding this one." (A/N catch the drown reference: he will try 9 times, realise 9 crimes, but he has more than 9 lives, so he picks himself up and keeps climbing for the prize again)

"Oh. Im sorry."

Tyler suddenly turned to stone. "I dont need your pity. You're here for a reason too, so what's your problem?"

"I dont need you"

"Pity"

"Problem"

Problem, problem, problem, problem. Thats all I am. A problem. Everyone hates me and i cant do anything right.

My vision started to fade and i could just make out the image of tyler frantically shaking me and trying to get help. Then it all went black.

When I woke up, I was in a white room with a couple doctors milling around. I saw Tyler sitting in a chair by my bed and looking guilty. He glanced over at me and yelped when he saw my opened eyes.

"Josh!"

"To loud," I mumbled out, snuggling father into my bed.

"Oh, sorry," Tyler replied, now whispering, "I'm sorry about what I said. You don't have to tell me anything or talk to me or anything because I suck but please just know that I am sorry."

I looked at him confused. "Tyler, you don't suck."

I have never seen anyone look more shocked than Tyler did in that moment. He was quick to tell me I'm wrong, "yes, I do. Everyone hates me already, so I'll just add you to the list."

"I don't hate you. Is this Tyler talking or is this blurryface talking?"

Sadness swept over Tyler's face, followed by shame and guilt. "I don't know. We're the same person, he just tells me what I refuse to see in myself."

"Well, Tyler Joseph, I don't hate you. In fact, I think we should be friends."

"Friends." Tyler tested the word like it was new in his mouth before sticling out his hand for me to shake. "Deal."

I grabbed and shook his hand, giggling. "Deal," i repeated.

Doctors decided that was when they finally had to interupt our conversation to check my vitals. But the sooner the better. It'll help me get out of here faster.

I have a friend. Ive never had a friend. What if he doesn't like me? What if hes lying? What if he gets hurt? What if i hurt him? Doesnt he hate me already?

The doctors released me and told me to just try to stay calm. I made the decision, to make sure i didnt hurt tyler with lies, that i would answer his questions.

I followed tyler out of the ER and into the hall, heading back to the lounge where we were directed to go by the nurses. "Hey, Tyler, you asked earlier why I'm here. Anxiety. In case you didnt figure that out with that panic attack, but yeah, anxiety. And eating disorders, which im guessing you've figured out too."

Tyler nodded in understanding. "Im sor-"

"I dont want your pity either, same as you dont want mine."

A small smile fell on his lips. We reached the lounge just a couple steps later, walking in to find almost the exact seen we left. A nurse was sitting in a coach next to a girl with blue hair, tapping his foot anxiously. Upon spotting us, the nurse jumped up and rushed over to us.

"Ive been looking for you guys! Its time for your orientation. Just follow me to my office so we can go over the daily schedule." He motioned for the blue haired girl to follow. She walked over to us and introduced herself as Ashley.

"What are your guys names? Why are you here? Im here because apparently im too dramatic and it was becoming a 'threat' to myself and other people." She made air quotes around the word 'threat'. "What did you say your names are?"

"Tyler."

"Josh."

"Cool. Do you like it here? Why are you here? Was it a choice? Do you want to be here? What did-"

"ashley, knock it off. Dont kill them with questions." The nurse finally told ashley to stop talking. She shut her mouth and rolled her eyes very dramatically.

"Okay, this is my office so if you guys just go in, we'll get you all situated."

A/N

Please give me feedback on the book, love y'all

¤ unedited
¤ wc// 883