Constellations

Chapter 24

The time had finally come. I had avoided it long enough. After the change, Al still had a lot of questions but I feigned exhaustion and he dropped it. The next morning, I got another threatening note and knew I had run out of time. I avoided him throughout classes and skipped dinner and left him a note to meet me at our beach.

I still didn't know how to do this and make it convincing. I'd never been a good liar and Al knew me too well to not be able to see through the lie. Telling the truth was out of the question. He wouldn't give up on me despite being in danger. The only way that he would let me go was if he truly believed that I didn't want to be with him anymore. I've continued to distance myself from him for a few days, well, as much as I could. We're constantly around each other so it was difficult. I knew I couldn't delay any longer. I had to rip the Band-Aid off before anything worse happened to him.

I was sitting on our beach. My knees close to my chest to keep warm. I had been sitting here for over an hour, not knowing where to go during dinner and hoping to collect my thoughts before the inevitable. I could hear him coming up behind me. My heart was pounding and it was taking everything in me not to break down in tears.

"Hey, Scorp," Al said as he sat down next to me. "You could have just told me to meet you here instead of sending me a note."

I didn't respond so he put his hand on my knee.

"What's going on?" He asked and I stood up.

"There's something that I've got to tell you," I said.

The words were stuck in my throat and I couldn't look him in the eye. I kept thinking that after I do this and if he believes me, I was going to have to see him everywhere. We were dormmates, teammates and best mates. Cutting him out of my life would be as easy as cutting off a limb. But I had to. I couldn't let him get hurt because of my lack of a backbone.

"Is this about what's been bothering you?" He asked.

I swallowed. "Yeah." I took a deep breath. "I can't do this anymore," I said, nearly choking on the words.

"What do you mean?"

The tears were nearly flooding from my eyes. "Please don't make me say it."

"Too bad. I don't understand," He stood up and forced me to look at him. "Explain it to me."

"I'm breaking up with you." My voice cracked on the words.

"What?" Al didn't look upset, just confused. "Why? What happened?"

"Nothing happened, it's been a gradual change. I've come to realize that we're better off as friends." Every word physically hurt and I just wanted him to understand so that once he left, I could fall apart alone.

"I don't believe you." Al grabbed my hands. "What is going on?"

I pulled away and turned my back to him. "It's over. You've got to accept that."

"I won't. I know there is something that you're not telling me." He walked around and stood in front of me, resting his hands on my shoulders.