Chapter 80: Bad Girls Get Everything They Deserve

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So this is a BIG and Very Long and Very Exciting Chapter! (At least I think so.) It's one of those chapters in which a song is written, and I describe the song and provide you with some original lyrics, but basically we can "songclaim"  Pink and Nate Ruess' Just Give Me a Reason for the song mentioned in the chapter.

Also, here's a shot of Mac and Adam, all dressed up for some videography that happens in the chapter:

Also, here's a shot of Mac and Adam, all dressed up for some videography that happens in the chapter:

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Mac

"Which ones do you like, Lane? The right?" I put my right foot forward in a Louboutin platform sandal with little multicolored flowers across the toe strap, then I alternate my feet. "Or the left?" Gold Blanicks with a sculptural heel of stacked geometric figures.

Lane scrunches his nose critically, looking at my feet. I think he's trying to remember the right from the left. I give him a chance to work it out, but he's not going to admit he needs help. "Those." He points to an eighty dollar pair of rhinestone sandals in the bridal shoe display. They are very pretty—the rhinestones look smokey and vintage and the heel is a pretty champagne color. Adam would love them.

"Ah, another man that likes shiny shoes." I pick them up, fingering the point heel, feeling a little sad, and not knowing exactly why. He grins and scampers to his mother, pulling her over to show her the shoes he likes.

"Thinking of getting married again?" Marianne jokes as she comes up behind me. I turn, and whatever she sees in my face makes her lips tuck in sympathy. She takes the rhinestone shoe from me and gives the chin tip to the shoe salesman. "She'll take all three. On my bill."

"You don't—"

"I know." She cuts me off. "It's the least I can do since my retail therapy hasn't made you feel one bit better. Let's go get a coffee and talk, okay?"

Thirty minutes later, we are on the private terrace of the restaurant that Penelope has booked for the interviews we will conduct shorty. I'm sipping my decaf machiatto.

"What the hell is the point of drinks made with decaf espresso, anyway?" Marianne laughs at me as she enjoys a wine spritzer before noon.

"For pregnant women like me, who are terrified to even indulge in a little caffeine," I sigh.

She takes my hand. "It's going to be okay. From everything you told me the doctor said, I really believe that. And if something bad should happen..." she looks at Lane and smiles as he happily eats his ice cream at the next table with the nannie. "You'll grieve, and you won't forget, but you'll survive and you'll get pregnant again when you are ready and you'll find joy. I promise you."

I look at Lane. I can guess what Marianne is trying to tell me...

She answers the questioning look on my face. "I've had two miscarriages. I got pregnant about six years ago. It was a complete surprise, but right away, Matt and I were thrilled. We realized we wanted another shot at those early baby years. When Street and the girls were born...well it was a hard time. We loved each other, but Street wasn't planned, and Matt, even though he was thirty, and he wanted to "do right,"...he wasn't quite there, family-man-wise.

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