it's sad really
the only emotions i end up feeling are usually sadness and joy.
mostly sadness.
idk
but the sadness has reason behind it.
number one: stress.
it's just the third week of school, and i'm already stressed. i'm thinking ahead of all the possible things that could happen this school year, during my theater company's fourth season—
a lot of shit, basically.
and the fact that i have 3 quizzes tomorrow is not helping at all.
but the topics are pretty simple, so i guess they're manageable.
number two: my section/class.
in my level, i am in the top section.
lol shocking, right?
i'm actually smart—
n o t
the reason why i'm still in the top section is because i managed to get into the top 20 of my class last year.
so... yeah lol
anyways, i don't like my seatmate.
and i also don't like how there's nobody to talk to regarding my absolute loves;
say, gaming (roblox, Minecraft, skribbl.io, etc.) or anime
and
every recess
i'm with mah fellow ducks
basically, we're a group of game-loving people who enjoy playing together.
gaming brings us together, see
(donate some wifi for Chanel_Writes guys)
so yeah.
but every lunch,
I'm just sitting in my chair...
eating. :|
or i'm with two of my friends, and i listen to their conversations lol
but yeah
all my other friends from my current section are usually somewhere else
so yeah.
earlier today during recess, i went to my best friends' classroom to get them and go to our usual spot.
but they were busy doing something, so i decided not to interrupt.
and recess was pretty.. okay?
lol
but yeah
basically, i don't like my section, and my mind is confused and stressed.
oh, one more thing.
i'm becoming more insecure :>
like, i'm not comfortable being my normal, crazy self in class
because maybe people will start to stay away from me, or not want to talk to me
now, i wouldn't want that.
so.. i put on 'masks'
i pretend that i'm a happy girl with no problems except for school.
but in reality, i also have other problems.
and that's about it.
allow me to cry myself to sleep now.
