Voyeur (Josh Balz Story)

Chapter 2

The next morning I ended up spending at least an hour trying to figure out something to wear. I wanted to look cute, but not like I was trying too hard. I honestly shouldn't be up this early to get dressed to go to the library on a Saturday, but here I am. I finally settled on some pale blue jeans and a red hoodie with some black Chucks. I sighed deeply as I peaked out of my curtains down to the empty driveway, wishing I could afford a car. I shrugged it off and grabbed my book, a pen, and my English notebook before heading out.

The autumn air blew through the many trees in the neighborhood and in the distance behind me I could hear some kids shouting and laughing. My mom had gotten lucky about getting our house somewhere so nice since she was a single parent when we first moved out here. I smiled slightly as the wind blew against me as I put in my ear buds, but right as I was about to put in my left ear bud I heard a much older voice yell.

"Hey blondie!"

I whipped my head around to see Josh jogging up behind me.

I raised an eyebrow saying, "Hey?"

He looked embarrassed as he rubbed the back of his neck, "Um, sorry. I don't really know your name, I've only heard the teachers call you Miss Matthews for some reason."

"It's okay, they know I don't like them using my name... it gets everyone's attention. So it's easier to use my last name."

"Well can you tell me your first name? I think it would be awkward for me to use your last name, it's too formal." He tells me making a face.

I chuckled, "It's Carina."

He nodded, "I like that a lot better."

"So are you on your way to the library too?"

"Yeah."

After that our walk was a quiet one, but for some reason he didn't look as uncomfortable as I felt. I busied my fingers by twirling my headphones mindlessly.

"You know that'll break those right?" He asks me breaking the silence.

"How?"

"I don't know, it messes up the wiring or something."

"Oh." Is all I say and I stuff them in my sweatshirt pocket. 

"Are you always this quiet or do you just not like talking to people from school?" He asks suddenly.

"It's just easier to stay quiet."

"Why?"

"People bother me less that way." I admit.

"Is that because of that rumor from freshmen year? People haven't gotten over that yet?"

Even though I had already assumed he knew about the rumor, hearing him actually talk about it was more embarrassing than I thought it would be. I shifted uncomfortably before speaking, "Yeah, my cousin never let it die off and I guess everyone just thinks it's funny."

His eyebrows furrowed, "How the hell is any of this funny? I get that something like my last name is funny because it is, it's Balz. People are childish perverts and I get it, but this shit isn't funny."

I shrugged, "It's fine."

I wanted to let out a sigh of relief when the library came into sight, ending our odd conversation. I didn't understand why it bothered him at all about what was said to me at school, it wasn't like we were friends or anything. Maybe he was just as humiliated as I was by this whole thing and working with me was like the cherry on top because he was starting to see how much that god awful rumor controlled my life. Once inside the quiet atmosphere calmed me greatly and I made a mental note to look around for awhile after we decided to stop for the day. We quickly sat at the computers and began coming up with ideas while he researched and I scribbled down things in my notebook.

"Can I have a copy of that?" He asked after some time, pointing down at my notes.

I nodded and ripped out a sheet of paper, but before I could start rewriting Josh grabbed my pen and began doing it himself. I watched his slightly messier version get quickly scrawled down. 

When he finished he quickly picked up his things saying, "Alright well I got to be heading out, my mom is really weird about me being late for dinner."

Just as I found myself thinking that he was probably lying he fished out his cellphone showing me a text message from the contact 'Mom' asking where he was and not to be late. I couldn't help laughing slightly, my mom would be amazed if I ever wasn't home on time for anything, hell I rarely left the house unless I had to. 

"Hey don't laugh at me." He fussed with a slight pout.

"I'm sorry, it's just sweet of her." 

He smiled and nodded before questioning, "Meet here tomorrow?"

I was surprised by that, but none the less I agreed, "See you then."

He gave me one of his heart stopping smiles before waving goodbye and hurried out of the library doors. I found myself grinning like an idiot yet again. Even as I poked around the bookshelves, I found myself still smiling softly at the thought of him, well this project certainly won't help me get over Josh, at least not anytime soon. I settled on checking out two books before deciding to head back home. This time on the walk back I was able to listen to my music like I had first planned to. I ended up listening to Radiohead's Creep and frowned for a moment as I related it to my situation with Josh.

I started to sing along under my breath, "I wish I was special, you're so very special, but I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here."

I just hoped if he ever heard this song that he wouldn't agree with those lyrics.

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Well here we are again, I figured that I should post this since I can't think of anything for my other stories. So here ya go!

So how are you all liking this so far?

Ak out!